Joke #4203

Man to friend: ‘My wife’s a peach.’ Friend: ‘Because she’s so soft and juicy?’ Man: ‘No, because she has a heart of stone.’
Vote: has 39.50 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Jack and his wife lived in Arizona where the summers are very hot. He woke up one day when they were having a heat wave. As he stepped out of the shower he complained to his wife saying, “it’s just too hot to wear any clothes on a day like this. What would the neighbors think if I mowed the lawn with no clothes.” “That I married you only for your money.”
Vote: has 86.62 % from 210 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
When a woman on the staff of the school where I worked became engaged, a friend and colleague offered her some advice. "The first ten years are the hardest." "How long have you been married?" she asked. "Ten years", he replied.
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, time, work
One day a Viking named Leif returned after a long sea voyage and found that during his absence his name had been removed from the town register. He sent his wife to the town hall make a complaint to the mayor. "I’m sorry," said the mayor, "I must have taken Leif off my census."
Vote: has 36.90 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
Yo mama is so stupid she married a carpenter just to get nailed.
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, stupid, Yo mama
Doctor to woman patient: "Your husband is too fond of strong coffee. You should not give it to him." Patient: "But you should see how excited he gets when I give him weak coffee."
Vote: has 39.39 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, husband, marriage
A wife tells her husband while watching a Mexican TV series: "Look, how much he loves her…" "Yes. But do you know how much he's being paid for that?"
Vote: has 81.36 % from 241 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, marriage, mexican, money, wife
If it weren’t for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
Vote: has 84.42 % from 187 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
I got really love sick the other day working away from home. Went to the doctors and they said it was chlamydia.
Vote: has 22.70 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, marriage
A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, “Mommy, why does the girl wear white?” His mom replies, “The bride is in white because she’s happy and this is the happiest day of her life.” The boy thinks about this, and then says, “Well then, why is the boy wearing black?”
Vote: has 62.39 % from 580 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, wedding
Contrary to popular belief, Harry’s mother and father were married. Not to each other. But they were married.
Vote: has 31.97 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage