Why did the Irishman wear two condoms?
To be sure, to be sure.
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Q: What do a gynaecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common?
A: They can both smell it, but can't eat it.
A doctor asks a patient while examining her:
How many sex partners did you have?
5 or 6, don't remember exactly..
Hmm, not that many...
Yes, that wasn't the most successful weekend.
A girlfriend said to me during sex that I should be a little more graceful, so I went to ballet classes!
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Yo momma so nasty i had phone sex with her and she gave me an earinfection.
Q: What's the speed limit of sex?
A: 68. Because at 69 you have to turn around!
An old couple returning from florida cross the border.
The customs agent
ask the man "did you buy anything while in the US.
the man answers no.
the man's wife asks her husband "what did he say?".
the man tells his wife
"the agent wants to know if we bought anything".
the customs agent asks
the man where he is from. the man answers "toronto".
the man's wife says
"what did he say?" the man tells his wife "he wanted to know where we were
from. the agent says to the man " i was in toronto once, i had the worst
sex ever in my life in toronto."
the man's wife says "what did he say?"
the husband tells his wife "he thinks he knows you dear."
One day, a man was fishing on a dock across from a hotel in the country, when another man came and sat down.
By way of conversation, the man asked the other what he was doing there.
"I'm on a honeymoon."
"Oh. Shouldn't you be having sex with your wife?"
"Well, I would be. But she has a yeast infection."
"What about oral sex?"
"Gingivitis."
"Anal sex?"
"Diarrhea."
"Pardon my question, but why are you with her?"
"Well, I like fishing. And she's got worms."
Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.
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Q: How do you make your wife scream while having sex?
A: Call her and tell her.