Why is it nice being a baby?
It’s a nappy time.
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Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.
Q: Why did the silly kid try to feed pennies to the cat?
A: Because his mother told him to put money in the kitty.
One day little Flora was taken to have an aching tooth removed.
That night, while she was saying her prayers, her mother was surprised to hear her say: "And forgive us our debts as we forgive our dentists."
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Yo mama so nasty that when she goes to the universal studios children follow her shouting "Shrek! Shrek!"
There is nothing fun about a funeral, but despite that, I had a good laugh at the following reaction by my two children.
We, along with a bunch of other relatives, were following the hearse of my late great aunt.
When my daughter, who always tends to focus on the morbid things in life raised the dreaded question, "Dad, what's going to happen to us when you die?"
My son who was busy texting one of his friends at the time barely glanced up from his phone.
"We'll go in the limousine dummy."
Q: What is the difference between a Jew and a boy scout?
A: the boy Scott gets to go home after camp.
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A couple placed an ad: "Have 4 sons, need advice on how to get a daughter."
Responses:
American: "Keep trying!"
Briton: "Change Doctor!"
Aussie: "Follow a special diet."
Indian: "Practice yoga!"
Pinoy: "Let me try!"
Chuck Norris once gave a box of his old watches to a group of kids.
These kids are now known as the power rangers.
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Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child.
The bed went itself out of fear.
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