Joke #4477

Why is it nice being a baby? It’s a nappy time.

What is the difference between a fridge and a kid? A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.

Happy Father's Day to the top three most likely candidates.

A preacher was making his rounds to his parishioners on a bicycle, when he came upon a little boy trying to sell a lawn mower. "How much do you want for the mower?" asked the preacher.  "I just want enough money to go out and buy me a bicycle," said the little boy.  After a moment of consideration, the preacher asked, "Will you take my bike in trade for it?"  The little boy asked if he could try it out first, and, after riding the bike around a little while, said, "Mister, you've got yourself a deal."  The preacher took the mower and began to crank it. He pulled on the rope a few times with no response from the mower. The preacher called the little boy over and said, "I can't get this mower to start."  The little boy said, "That's because you have to cuss at it to get it started."  The preacher said, I'm a minister, and I can't cuss. It's been so long since I've been saved that I don't even remember how to cuss."  The little boy looked at him happily and said, "You just keep pulling on that rope. It'll come back to ya!"

I put so much more effort into naming my first Wi-Fi than my first child.

"Mommy, mommy, I found daddy!" "How often do I have to tell you not to dig around in the garden!"

"Jeff, my child, your mother had to stay in the hospital for a few days, cause the stork that brought your baby brother bite her by accident." "Oh, gosh! What a terrible thing to happen to her after such a difficult birth!"

My 3-year-old granddaughter, Sydney, told my husband, Ted, and me that she was going fishing with her dad. Ted asked if she was going to use worms. "No," she said. "I'm going to use a fishing pole."

Q: What did the big turnip say to the little turnip A: When did you turn up?

He used to be a bottle baby, but when he reached the age of ten he pushed the cork out and escaped.

Two men are chatting; "My son asked me: 'Daddy, where do children come from?'" "It's not a big deal... Today kids are interested in that matter on the early years." "Yeah men, but the real issue here is that my son is... married... for five years!"