A policeman on a motorcycle pulls over a car.
‘What’s up?’ says the driver.
‘Your wife fell out the passenger door three miles back,’ says the policeman.
‘Thank goodness for that,’ says the driver. ‘I thought I’d gone deaf.’
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HOW did an Intelligent BOY PROPOSE to a Girl.
He TOOK the Girl ALONG with him on a BOAT & in the MIDDLE of River said: "LOVE ME or LEAVE the BOAT."
Genuine advert. In New York Newspaper
Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannia.
45 volumes.
Excellent condition.
$1,000 or best offer.
No longer needed.
Got married last weekend. Wife knows f**king everything.
A woman, after giving birth to six babies, upon seeing her husband gets up off the hospital bed, walks over to him shouting "I told you not to go doggy style!"
After 20 years of marriage, a wife finds out that her husband had been f*cking her for the past 20 years with a dildo!
she is so angry she asks her husband to "Explain the dildo".
The husband replies "explain the kids?!"
Marriages are made in Heaven – but then again, so are thunder and lightning.
An old woman wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat.
As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead pussy.
The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common."
A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time.
"How wonderful!
But I hope you don't mind me asking what happened to your first husband?"
"He ate poisonous mushrooms and died."
"Oh, how tragic!
What about your second husband?"
"He ate poisonous mushrooms too and died."
"Oh, how terrible!
I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband."
"He died of a broken neck."
"A broken neck?"
"He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."
Maria, a devout Catholic, got married and had 10 children.
After her first husband died, she remarried and had 10 more children.
A few weeks after her second husband died, Maria also passed away.
At Maria's funeral, the priest looked skyward and said, "At last, they're finally together."
Her sister sitting in the front row said, "Excuse me, Father, but do you mean she and her first husband, or she and her second husband?"
The priest replied, "I mean her legs."
1st man: It is sickening the way my wife keps talking about her ex husband..
2nd man: Than's nothing, mine keps talking about her next husband.