Joke #4739

Girl: why am I still single? Brain: you're weird as shit. Body: and you're fat. Face: plus you're pretty ugly. Food: Don't worry babe, I'm here for you.
Vote: has 48.78 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
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This woman was driving home in Northern Arizona, when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. She stopped the car and asked the woman if she'd like a ride. The woman thanked her and got in the car. After a few minutes, the Navajo woman noticed a brown bag on the back seat and asked the driver what was in the bag. The driver said, "It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband." The Navajo woman thought for a moment, then said, "Good trade."
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
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"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!" "I know all that." "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
Vote: has 47.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
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A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman says, "I'll miss you."
Vote: has 83.29 % from 33 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: couple, mean, women
Agnes married and had 13 children. When her husband died, she married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. So Agnes remarried and this time had 5 more children. Alas, she finally died. Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, Lord, theyre finally together. One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, "Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?" The friend replied, "I think he means her legs."
Vote: has 84.22 % from 531 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, husband, kids, marriage, women
In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.
Vote: has 75.97 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, men, political, women
Think of the hottest woman. Chuck Norris did her.
Vote: has 48.02 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, Chuck Norris, sex, women
Boyfriend: Do you think my salary is sufficient for you? Girlfriend: It’s sufficient for me but how will you survive?
Vote: has 72.09 % from 530 votes. Send joke:
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75% of women do not eat after 6... shots.
Vote: has 81.82 % from 241 votes. Send joke:
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Q: Why did the girl spread peanut butter on the road? A: To go with the traffic jam!
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, food, women
Q: Why do women have two holes so close together? A: In case you miss.
Vote: has 65.27 % from 97 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: sex, women