Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
Because he couldn't afjord a new one!
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Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.
Vote:
How come the village Guy Fawkes won the Nobel Peace Prize?
Cause he was outstanding in his field.
Q: What do you call a frog who wants to be a cowboy?
A: Hoppalong Cassidy.
Paddy got a job as a road line-painter.
He paints 5 miles on the first day, 2 miles on the second day and 1 on the third day.
"You get worse and worse every day!" yelled his boss.
"That is because the bucket gets further and further away every day." said Paddy.
A patient to his friend: "I am taking rest cure."
Friend: "What do you do?"
Patient: "I sit every day for three hours in the waiting room of a very busy doctor."
Amazing unbelievable facts
1. Isaac Newton was alive before he died
2. It takes 60 seconds to make a minute
3. Albert Einstein was born on his birthday
4. Morgan Freeman is called Morgan Freeman because his first name is Morgan and last name is Freeman
John: "Hey can I borrow some money? I'm broke."
Michael: "Get money from your job."
John: "I got fired."
Michael: "Why?"
John: "My boss told me to leave all my problems behind the door, so I told him to stand outside."
Michael: "This is why we are friends."
Vote:
Dentist (to the patient: "For God’s sake, stop making those noises and waving your arms. I haven’t even touched your tooth yet."
Patient: "Yes, I know. But u’re standing on my foot."
Jesus said to John, "Come forth and receive eternal life."
He came fifth and received a toaster.
A patient: "Doctor, I don’t feel hungry after taking meal."
Doctor: "Really, your condition is very serious. Wait a bit."
(After sometime, the doctor holds out some medicines).
Doctor: "Take these pills. You take one pill after your sleep and another one before you get-up."