Games for when we are older:
1) Sag, You're it.
2) Pin the Toupee on the bald guy.
3) 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
4) Kick the bucket.
5) Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
6) Doc Doc Goose.
7) Simon says something incoherent.
8) Hide and go pee.
9) Spin the Bottle of Mylanta.
10) Musical recliners.
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Similar jokes
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A couple of senior couples were strolling along, wives in front, husbands in back chatting.
Bernie turns to Marv and says, "Ya know, we went to a new restaurant last night and had the best meal ever. Great prices, too."
Marv smiles and says, "Well, we like to eat out too. So what was the name of this fine new eatery?"
Bernie says, "You’re going to have to help me out here a little. What’s the name of that pretty flower, smells sweet, often red, grows on a thorny bush?"
Marv grins again, "Well now, Bernie, sounds like a rose to me…"
"Yes, yes, that’s it!" cries Bernie, then he calls ahead to his wife: "Rose! Rose, honey, what was the name of that little restaurant we ate at last night?"
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A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head.
Wife: 'What are you doing dear?'
Husband: 'Swatting flies - I got 3 males and 2 females'
Wife: 'How on earth do you know which gender they were?'
Husband: 'Easy - 3 were on the beer, and the other 2 were on the phone.'
A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to one local hospital in Brooklyn and took his portable keyboard along.
He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients' bedsides.
When he finished he said, in farewell, "I hope you get better."
One elderly gentleman replied, "I hope you get better, too."
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A: What does 70-year-old p***y taste like?
A: Depends.
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Yo mama is so old that when she walked out of a museum the alarm went off.
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Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were having a conversation one fine Sunday evening.
One remarked to the other, ‘I got a new hearing device and it works fine?'
The second said, ‘oh yes, my grandchildren just love the gifts of my choice.'
The third one who noticed the hearing device in the ear of the first one asked, what kind is it?'
The one with the brand new hearing device answered ‘about 6 O'clock'.
All three of them looked up in the birds in the sky and said, "Birds of the same feather ‘flock' together."
An old man goes into a pharmacy, asks for two Viagra pills and demands that the pharmacist cut them in half.
The pharmacist winks at him, "OK, but do you realize they won't be as effective?"
The old man says, "Listen sonny, I'm 80 years old. I don't want them for sex. I need them for getting me hard enough so I don't pee on my shoes."
Old man O'Malley had worked down at the brewery for years, but one day he just wasn't paying attention and he tripped on the walkway and fell over into the beer vat and drowned.
The foreman thought it should be his job to inform the Widow O'Malley of her old man's death. He showed up at the front door and rang the bell.
When she came to the door, he said, "I'm sorry to tell you, but your poor husband passed away at work today when he fell into the vat and drowned."
She wept and covered her face with her apron and after a time, between sobs, she asked, "Tell me, did he suffer?"
"Knowing Brian O'Malley as well as I did, I don't think so," said the foreman, "He got out three times to go to the men's room."
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An elderly man and woman meet in a bar and get to talking.
They are enjoying their conversation so much that, when the bar closes, they decide to continue at the woman's apartment.
After a time, things start getting pretty romantic and they wind up in bed.
Afterward, they're both laying there, staring at the ceiling.
The old man is thinking, “Gosh, if I had known she was a virgin, I would have been more careful with her.”
The old lady is thinking, “Geez, if I had known he could get it up, I would have taken off my panties.”
A plowhorse, a honeybee and an old geezer are debating about which of them is the greatest.
The horse says, "I can plow all day long to provide food for dozens of people!"
"
The bee says, "I pollinate all the plants every year and make honey besides!"
The old geezer says...
(We're waiting...)
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