There's something actionable in your pants.
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My favorite sexual position is called "The Osama"...
its where I burst into your room and blow a load on your face.
One day a girl was with her mom in the park and saw two teens having sex on the bench.
The little girl asked her mom, "Mommy, what are they doing?"
The mom was blushing and replied, "Oh their making cakes."
The next day the girl and the mom went to the zoo and saw two monkey having sex.
The little girl asked again, "Mommy, what are they doing?"
Again the mother replied, "Oh their making cakes."
The next day, the little girl confronted her mom, "Mommy, I know you and daddy we’re making cakes last night."
The mom was frightened and asked, "How did you know?"
The little girl replied, "I licked the icing off the couch! It was good too!"
The sexologist to Johny: "let´s talk about sex!"
Johny: "I have no idea."
Vote:
Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
There were two security guards who worked on opposite shifts, but looked after the same building.
Over a period of a year, the night shift security guard noticed that his opposite was putting on weight.
So one evening at shift change, the night shift security guard says to the day shift security guard "Hey buddy, you aint half gettin fat".
To which the day shift guard replies "Yeah, that's because every time I shag your wife she gives me a chocolate biscuit".
The teacher asked Johnny, "What is sex?"
Johnny stood up and said: "Sex is a temptation caused my a sensation where a boy sticks his location into a girls destination to increase the population of the next generation"
The teacher stared at him and fainted.
Vote:
Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate?
A: Miracle Whip.
Vote:
Men, don’t buy expensive ‘ribbed’ condoms; buy an ordinary one and slip in a handful of frozen peas.
There are 10 types of people in the world.
Those who understand binary and those who have regular sex.