Joke #4771

There's something actionable in your pants.
Vote:
has 38.91 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: sex

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A man goes into a florist and says, "I want to buy some flowers for my girlfriend". "Certainly sir", she responds, "and what in particular are you after"? After some thought, the man answers, "a shag".
Vote:
has 80.05 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: dirty, love, men, relationship, sex
Tow millipedes went for honey moon. The male one asked: "My darling, between which feet is your pussy, please?"
Vote:
has 57.37 % from 109 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, love, sex, wedding
I just had an argument with a girl I know. She was saying how that it's unfair that if a guy fucks a different girl every week, he's a legend, but if a girl fucks just two guys in a year, she's a slut. So in response, I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a shitty lock. That shut her up.
Vote:
has 55.93 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, men, sex, women
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant.
Vote:
has 54.18 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: sex
Camilla goes to the doctors and says "Doctor, whenever one sucks Charlie's cock one gets a stomach ache." The doctor says "Have you tried Andrew's?"
Vote:
has 58.52 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: doctor, men, sex
After a long day of winter sporting, we headed back to the ski lodge. As it was small, a cramped place to stay, we decided it was most fitting to sleep in the same bed. Myself in the middle and my two friends either side of me. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right woke up and said, "I have had a dream where I was given the best handjob ever!" A few minutes later, the guy on my left woke up and said: "I have had a dream that I was given the best handjob ever!" I replied, "well that's funny... I thought I was skiing."
Vote:
has 67.39 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: dirty, friendship, sex, sport, winter
Q. What do gay kids get for Christmas? A. Erection Sets.
Vote:
has 35.47 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: sex
Two Italian virgins marry and go on their honeymoon. Unfortunately, neither knows what to do when they get there. The newlyweds call the groom's mother for advice. The mother says that they should sit on the bed together, snuggle, and things should happen from there. The newlyweds do this, but nothing happens. The groom calls his mother back. She says they should take their clothes off, get under the covers, and nature should take its course. The bride and groom take his mother's advice, but still nothing comes to mind. He calls his mother a third time. Getting frustrated with the situation, she says, "Listen, just take the biggest thing you have and stick it in her hairiest spot!" The groom is quiet for a moment and then asks his mother, "I've got my nose in her armpit, now what?"
Vote:
has 59.31 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: marriage, sex
Dad: Hey son, if you keep masturbating your going to go blind. Son: Dad im over here.
Vote:
has 75.78 % from 948 votes. More jokes about: masturbation, sex
A tight rope Walker is walking a tight rope between two buildings on the 85th floor in new York. At the same time in South Texas is getting a blow job from a 85 year old lady. What are both men thinking? Don't look down.
Vote:
has 61.99 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: age, death, dirty, geography, sex