Joke #4771

There's something actionable in your pants.
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has 39.74 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: sex

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A nun gets on a bus thats empty except for the driver. She says "I'm going to die soon but I want to have sex before I die. Problem is I must remain a virgin so it has to be to ass. I can't commit adultery, so the man must be single.Can you fulfill my wish?" "Yes" says the bus driver and fulfills her wish. Feeling guilty he says "I'm sorry I lied, I'm married with 3 kids." "Thats ok" replied the nun "I lied too." "My name is Kevin and Im going to a fancy dress party."
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has 73.23 % from 240 votes. More jokes about: car, death, dirty, gay, sex
Three women were debating about how wide their pussy are. The first one said: "When my husband makes sex he puts his penis and his testicles in my pussy." The second lady said: "Wooo when we are in bed my husband puts his hand and his arm in mine." It was the turn of the third woman that pointed to her pussy and said: Jimy; Jimy come out, please."
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has 84.54 % from 925 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, sex, women
This desperate guy named Jim goes to the whorehouse with 5$. He buys a the cheapest prostitute named Sandpaper Sally. As they start to have sex, Jim screams, "Ouch! Now I know why they call you Sandpaper Sally!" Sally scoots out of the room. Five minutes later she came back and Jim attempts sex once again. "What the hell happened?" asks Jim, "This is the best sex I''ve ever had!" Sally replies, "Oh, I just picked my scabs."
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, money, sex
There was three guys a sex addict a weed addict and a alcoholic they all went to hell for their sin and was standing in front of the devil. The devil made a deal with them saying I will lock you in a room with what ever you did for a 1000 years and if you get over any of your sins I will send you back to the land of the living, Earth. So the sex addict got locked in a room full of virgins, the alcohol addict got locked in a room full of beer, the weed addict locked in a room full of weed. 1000 years later the Devil goes to the sex addict he comes out saying "Aww my dick hurts I'm never having sex again", poof back to earth. Open the alcoholic room and he say "Im never having beer", and gets sent back to Earth. Then the Devil opens the weed addicts room and the Weed addict punches the Devil in the face and says "you forgot my lighter bitch!"
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has 81.30 % from 288 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, sex, time, vulgar, weed
My girlfriend told me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt! So I Fucked her 3 times and then hit her with a baseball bat.
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has 64.73 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: sex
A girlfriend said to me during sex that I should be a little more graceful, so I went to ballet classes!
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has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: communication, relationship, sex
Practical thought: A husband is supposed to make his wife's panties wet, not her eyes. A wife is supposed to make her husband's dick hard, not his life...
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has 85.14 % from 934 votes. More jokes about: husband, life, marriage, sex, wife
Yo' Mama is so fat, after sex, she smokes a turkey.
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, fat, sex, Yo mama
I went into the bar the other day & the bartender said: "What'ya have?" I said: "Suprise me." He did, He showed me a naked picture of my wife. I said: "Hey, who said you could mess around with my wife?" "Everyone did" he replied..."
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has 67.13 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: sex
Did you hear about the new ‘morning after’ pill for men? It changes their blood type.
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has 34.42 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: sex