Use to be we had Bob Hope, Johnny Cash, and Steven Jobs.
Now we have no hope, no cash, and no jobs.
Please do not die Kevin Bacon.
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What's the best way to pick up a Jewish girl?
Bring a dustpan to Auschwitz
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Q: What's faster than the speed of light?
A: A jew passing Germany.
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Q: How do you make a dog go ‘miaow’?
A: Freeze it in liquid nitrogen, and run it through a bandsaw…
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Crocodiles are easy.
They try to kill and eat you.
People are harder.
Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first.
- Steve Irwin (1962 - 2006)
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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer.
Too bad he has never cried.
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What do you call a black woman thats had 5 or more abortions?
Crime fighter.
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Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
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Q: What's the only thing faster than a black man running away with your TV?
A: His son running away with your VCR.
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What did the cannibal say when he was full?
I couldn't eat another mortal.
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