Use to be we had Bob Hope, Johnny Cash, and Steven Jobs.
Now we have no hope, no cash, and no jobs.
Please do not die Kevin Bacon.
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Similar jokes
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Q: How do you get a black out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope.
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Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend on the wall?
A: To see her crack.
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My wife and I have reached a decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
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Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims. They went through 87 stories in 10 seconds.
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My grandfather can no longer do the things he loved to do as a teenager.
Flying planes, bombing Germans...
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What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown costume!
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Did you hear about the cannibal family who were caught spying by the witch-doctor?
They were given a right roasting.
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Q: What happened to Jesus when he said "Catch me outside, how bout dat"?
A: He got crucified
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A very old woman realizes that she's seen and done everything and the time has come to depart from this world.
After considering various methods of doing away with herself, she decides to shoot herself through the heart.
Not wanting to make a mistake, she phones her doctor and asks him the exact location of the heart.
He tells her that the heart is located two inches below the left nipple.
The old woman hangs up the phone, takes careful aim and shoots herself in the left knee.
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Q: What's the best thing about ISIS jokes?
A: The execution.
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