Use to be we had Bob Hope, Johnny Cash, and Steven Jobs.
Now we have no hope, no cash, and no jobs.
Please do not die Kevin Bacon.
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If you're scared of dying alone then become a bus driver.
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What is the difference between a fridge and a kid?
A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.
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How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ?
Nail its other hand to the floor.
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Q: What was Hitler's favorite toy as a kid?
A: An Easy-Bake Oven.
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How many dead babies does it take to change a tire?
Two, one to prop up the car and one to replace it incase it explodes.
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Why did Hitler commit suicide?
He got the gas bill.
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A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island.
After one month the woman says:
"I can not proceed in this way."
And she suicides herself.
After another month, the sailors say:
"We can not proceed in this way."
And they bury the woman.
The next month, the sailors say:
"We can not proceed in this way."
And they dig up the woman.
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Joke has 21.36 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, desert island, disgusting, navy
The reason why women will never be the ones who propose is that as soon as they get on their knees, man starts unzipping.
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Jerry was in the hospital recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling.
“I’m OK but I didn’t like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery,” he answered.
“What did he say?,” asked the nurse.
“OOPS!”
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What does the cannibal do just after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wiped his ass.
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