A German woman is walking down the street. Eleven blonde guys walk up and attack her. She screams, "Nein!, Nein" So two guys walk away.
Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? A: Pregnant.
One day while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde started laughing. This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield. This time the blonde laughed even harder. Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car. The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what’s so funny. The blonde giggled and replied, “When you weren’t looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!
Q: What do you call an eternity? A: Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.
A blonde goes into a music store and asks the guy who works there where the country music CD's are. The salesman replies, "Try the other side." So the blonde moves to his other ear and says, "Where are the country music CD's?"
A Blonde was at a gumball machine. She put a quarter in and kept getting a gumball out. The man behind her asked if he could get a gumball. She said, "Shut up! I'm WINNING!"
In an aeroplane flying to Melbourne a blonde girl leaves her seat and goes to the business class. The stewardess, who’ s watching her, gently asks her to see her ticket and tells her that she has to go back to her seat. But the blonde girl replies “I am young, beautiful, I travel to Melbourne and I’m staying here”. The stewardess goes to the cockpit and explains the copilot what happened. So he comes out of the cockpit and tries to explain to the blonde girl that she had to go back to her seat. And again the blonde girl says “I am young, beautiful, I travel to Melbourne and I’m staying here”. The copilot, confused, returns to the cockpit and explains the situation to the aircraft commander. “Don’t worry”, he says, “My wife is a blonde… I can hanlde it!”. So the commander, goes out, spots the blonde and whispers something in her ear. Suddenley, she stands up and says “Oh sorry mister…I didn’ t know…!” and runs back to her seat. “What the hell did you tell her?” asks the copilot who was watching the scene. “I told her that people in the business class are not flying to Belbourne”
Mary Lou, the blonde, was out playing in the garden one day with three boys. They ran around in the garden and played tag. She later climbed the tree that was in her garden. Her mother yelled out, "Mary Lou get down out of the tree, the boys are going to see your panties." She laughed and she laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing any panties.
Q: Why was the blonde late for work? A: She was stranded on the broken escalator.
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on top of a cliff. A magical bird flies to them and tells them that each one of them can jump off the cliff and wish to be one thing to fly away on. They will become that thing and can escape from their arduous situation. The redhead goes first. She jumps and says "eagle!". She turns into an eagle and flies away. The brunette jumps off and says,"hawk!" she turns into a hawk and flies away. The blonde takes a running start, trips on a rock as she nears the edge. "Oh crap!" she yells.
Q: Why did the blonde take more than one pregnancy test? A: Because she slept with more than one guy.