Joke #4948

Q: How do you find a blind man at a nude beach? A: It’s not hard.

A teenage boy overdosed on ten bottles of Viagra. Not only is he lucky to be alive, he’s lucky not to have taken his eye out.

What’s the definition of a Yankee? Same thing as a ‘quickie’ but you do it yourself.

Q: What did the blonde do when she found out she was pregnant with triplets? A: She went looking for the three guys.

Q: What did dick say to rubber? A: "Cover me I'm going in."

In bed my girlfriend used to mentally dress me.

Wanna go on an 'ate' with me? I'll give you the 'D' later.

how come blondes don't wear tampons? so their crabs don't go bungie jumping.

John comes home and notices his wife naked in bed and the postman standing with his unzipped trousers next to the bed. The postman wants to save the situation so he says quickly: "Mrs. Ann, I warn you for the last time! If you do not sign this letter so I will pee on your brand-new carpet."

Two sperms. The first one asked the second "How much time we need to reach the womb?" The second one answered "To much time left... We are in the stomach now."

I and my two mates went to a hooker and she told us that it will cost us a pound an inch. My first mate went in and came out after minutes, saying, it cost me a tenner! My second mate went in and came out ten minutes later and said, it cost me £9.50! I went in and came out ten minutes later and said, it cost me £3.50.! "What do you mean," they asked me. "I told them, you both paid on the way in but I paid on the way out."