Joke #496

What do you call men who use the pull out method? Fathers.

Girl: "Do you believe in puppy love?" Boy: "I tried it once, but their assholes are too small."

"I just had sexed in school today, dad! You lied to me! You told me if I have sex before my 16th biurthday, my boyfriend will die." "Oh, he will, sweetheart, he will."

Heres what you do: 1. Dinner 2. Kiss 3. Movie 4. Sex 5. Bring her back home 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting

Are your legs made of Nutella? Because I'd love to spread them!

Men and women can be friends without any sex involved. It's called marriage.

If you're under the age of 25 and you think your life sucks then you better brace yourself.... Life has only given you the TIP of its Dildo.

Women need a reason to have sex - men just need a place.

"Hey Bill... Do you talk to your wife while you are having sex?" "Only if there's a phone handy", Bill replied.

A man and his wife agreed on a code to use in front of their kids when they want to have s*x. The code is: "Making a call." One day the man ask his son to tell his mother, that dad wants to make a phone call. The boy returns to his dad, that mom says she is out of order. Then he ask him to tell her, that dad will go outside to make a phone call. The boy returns, that mom says, "If you do so, she will open a central telephone station in the house."

Good: Your daughter has got a new job. Bad: As a call girl. Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients. Very ugly: She makes more money than you.