Joke #496

What do you call men who use the pull out method? Fathers.
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What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities.
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A pretty lady is standing on the side of a bridge, looking over it and thinking about jumping off. A homeless alcoholic man comes up to her as he was walking nearby. The lady notices the man coming and says: "Go away! There's nothing you can say to me to change my mind, you cannot help me." "Well, if you're going to kill yourself anyway, why don't we have sex? At least I'll enjoy it" replies the man. "No way, you're disgusting, go away." The homeless man turns and starts walking away. The lady thinks: "Is that all you were going to say to me? Nothing more? Won't you try to convince me that life is worth living that I should not jump off? Where are you going?" The homeless man thinks: "I have to make it down to the bottom. If I hurry, you'll still be warm."
Vote: has 77.71 % from 285 votes. Send joke:
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I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
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Two rabbis prepare to wash the cadaver of a recently deceased before burying him, according to a Jewish tradition. The deceased possessed a tremendous sexual organ. Aaron, you see what I am seeing? Yes Jacob, I see it... it is as mine. That long? No, that dead.
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A man has came over to his wife in a request. She tells him to tie her to a bed and do whatever he wants. 3 hours later he is fucking hookers and watching football and porn with friend.
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Mom was very upset when she found a bondage S&M magazine in her son's room. She showed it to her husband when he got home. He handed it back to her without a word. She asked him, "Well, what do we do about this?" "Well, whatever you do, don't spank him."
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Do you like maths? If so add a bed subtract your clothes divide your legs and we can multiply!
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I have asked my mamma: "Mamma, why do we have 10 cock birds but only 1 hen?" Mama has said to me: "Because I want that she has a better life than I had."
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Q: What did dick say to rubber? A: "Cover me I'm going in."
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Q: How big are the pastro's beds? A: Oh c'mon, it knows every little kid.
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