Joke #496

What do you call men who use the pull out method? Fathers.
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has 62.45 % from 116 votes. More jokes about: sex

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I lost my virginity to a retard last night... I wanted my first time to be special.
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Little Johnny took sex ed and every day when little Johnny would come in from school he'll tell his dad for learning sex ed well one day we'll just come in and he said that I got thrown out sex ed Lil Johnny's daddy says how do you get thrown out sex ed Little Johnny said well Dad I got in trouble for eating during class.
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has 43.60 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: dad, food, little Johnny, school, sex
There were three nurses in a morgue... They entered a room where they had discovered that there was a dead man laying on the bed with a hard-on. The first nurse was very forward and said, "Wow! I have never seen that before, I can't let that go to waste". After saying this the first nurse sat and rode it. The 2nd nurse did the same. The third nurse explained that she couldn't as she was on her period. After a bit of convincing she eventually rode it. After 3 minutes the man woke up. The Nurses said, "What the hell... You were dead a few minutes ago" The man replied, "yeah I was... But I feel great now I have had two jump starts and a blood transfusion".
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has 75.92 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty, disgusting, nurse, sex
What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman? A baby with a black eye!
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has 41.72 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, sex, women
A guy is driving his car and finds a friend crying, sitting on the road. He stops. And he asks him: - Hey, What happens to you? - (crying) Look! and he points a crashed car. - Well, don't care and buy another car. - Look inside the car! - Well, don't care and get another blonde, and that's all. - Look inside her mouth!!!
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has 68.08 % from 352 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, money, sex
Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie - I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle.
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has 59.95 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, food, sex
My mate down the pub asked me last night "Why do you have so many sex noises saved to your phone?" I said, "It's for sound effects during sex." He asked, "Your wife a bit quiet in the sack?" I replied, "No, I work in a morgue."
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has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: phone, sex
What does a Blonde say after multiple orgasms? Way to go team!
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has 72.93 % from 172 votes. More jokes about: sex
Practical thought: A husband is supposed to make his wife's panties wet, not her eyes. A wife is supposed to make her husband's dick hard, not his life...
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has 84.89 % from 1186 votes. More jokes about: husband, life, marriage, sex, wife
Josey wasn't the best pupil at Sunday school. She often fell asleep and one day while she was sleeping, the teacher asked her a question. "Who is the creator of the universe?" Joe was sitting next to Josey and decided to poke her with a pin to wake her up. Josey jumped and yelled, "God almighty!" The teacher congratulated her. A little later the teacher asked her another question, "Tell me who is our lord and savior?" Joe poked Josey again and she yelled out, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher congratulated her again. Later on the teacher asked, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 26th child?" Joe poked Josey again and she shouted, "If you stick that thing in me again, I'll snap it in half and stick it up your ass!"
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has 73.74 % from 169 votes. More jokes about: christian, dirty, relationship, sex, student