Joke #5019

Teacher: Name two days of the week that start with "t". Pupil: Today and Tomorrow.
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has 73.13 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: school

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Why did the teacher put the lights on? Because the class was so dim!
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Mary can't stand Sunday school, but her brother William doesn't have a problem with it. So one day in Sunday school, Mary thinks, "The hell with it," and decides to go to sleep. The teacher sees this and asks Mary a question to keep her awake. "Mary, who created the heavens and the earth?" William, who is sitting behind Mary, pokes her in the butt with his pencil. Mary wakes up and shouts, "God almighty!" And the teacher says, "Yes. That's correct, Mary." Mary goes back to sleep and the teacher asks her another question. "Who died on the cross for our sins?" William pokes Mary again. She wakes up and shouts, "Jesus Christ!" Once again, she goes back to sleep. This time the teacher asks, "Mary, what was the first thing Eve said to Adam?" William pokes her again. Mary wakes up and shouts, "If you don't stop poking me with that thing, I'm gonna break it off!"
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has 59.80 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: god, kids, school, teacher
Johnny comes home from school and asks his mom what is a "period". His mom says that "A period is when a woman needs to realease her dead egg cells". Johnny asks what color is it. She says it's red. Johnny said "I have one of those but mine is white and it makes babies."
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has 47.05 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, little Johnny, school, women
Yo mama so dumb,when she got an "F" on her test, she thought it mean Fantastic!
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Father: "You've got 4 D's and a C on your report." Son: "Maybe I concentrated too much on the one subject..."
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has 47.97 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: school
Chuck Norris graduated from the School of Hard Knocks with an MBA - Mega Bad Ass.
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has 74.21 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, school
A college business professor could not help but notice that one of his students was late to class for the third time that week. Before class ended he went around the room asking students some questions about the day’s lecture. Of course, he made sure to pick on his tardy pupil. “And who was it that developed the theories behind communism?” the professor asked. “I don’t know,” the student said. “Perhaps if you came to class on time, Mr. Reebs, you would know,” said the professor. “That’s not true,” the student replied. “I never pay attention anyway!”
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has 30.14 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: business, college, school
Teacher: Daniel, I’ve had to send you to the principal every day this week. What do you have to say for yourself? Daniel: I’m glad it’s Friday!
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has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: school
Boy: "I got an F in arithmetic." Father: "Why?" Boy: "The teacher asked 'How much is 2×3?' and I said '6'" Father: "But that's right!" Boy: "Then she asked me 'How much is 3×2?'" Father: "What's the fucking difference?" Boy: "That's exactly what I said!"
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has 85.77 % from 6710 votes. More jokes about: school
Teacher: “How do you spell “dog”?” Boy: “D, o, g, enter.”
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has 29.98 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: school