Jim and Edna are both mental patients.
One day Jim jumps into the swimming pool but, doesn't come up for air.
Quick as a flash, Edna sees her friend in trouble, so dives in and pulls him out.
Later, the hospital director calls Edna into his office and sayes "Edna, Ive got some good news and some bad news. The good news is, we are releasing you as you are obviously sane 'saving anothers life'. But unfortunately, the bad news is that Jim hanged himself in the bathroom ..."
"Oh no' Edna replies, that's where I put him to dry !"
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One day a young teen was in a church for the first time and he got a seat net to a not-so-good-looking woman.
The pastor was preaching and he said: "Tell your neighbour how beautiful they are" and the boy stood up and said pastor "How can you expect me to lie in a church?"
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want.
Q: Why do women wear makeup and perfume?
A: Because they're ugly and they stink.
Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground.
One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, "You see that Indian?"
"Yeah," says the other cowboy.
"Look," says the first one, "he's listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction."
Just then the Indian looks up.
"Covered wagon," he says, "about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child, household effects in wagon."
"Incredible!" says the cowboy to his friend. "This Indian knows how far away they are, how many horses, what colour they are, who is in the wagon, and what is in the wagon. Amazing!"
The Indian looks up and says, "Ran over me about a half hour ago."
Q: What do you call a women who does as much work as a man?
A: A lazy b*tch.
Question: Why do women close their eyes during sex?
Answer: They can’t stand seeing a man have a good time.
Q: Why did the woman get thrown out of the riding stable?
A: She wanted to mount the horse her way.
If pretty women from the south are southern bells, would that make pretty women from Mexico taco bells?
Q: Who was the best business woman in the Bible?
A: Pharoah's daughter – she drew a profit from the rush at the bank.