I've got a new anorexic girlfriend. Its not going too well though. I'm just seeing less and less of her ...
Q: Why do women have smaller feet than men? A: So they can stand closer to the sink.
How many men does it take to please a woman. Impossible. Once a woman's done bitching about the men they're all asleep.
Q: Why did God invent yeast infection? A: So women know what it feels like to live with an annoying c*nt.
Question: What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a pit bull? Answer: Lipstick.
Either the woman at the back of the train has two really ugly children, or two seriously cool Pokémons.
Boyfriend: Do you think my salary is sufficient for you? Girlfriend: It’s sufficient for me but how will you survive?
Question: Why do women have smaller feet than men? Answer: So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
A Rolls Royce pulls up in to an expensive restaurant. A sheik emerges, followed by a harem of women and a rooster. After ordering for himself and his harem, the sheik requests a basket of apples for the rooster. The rooster proceeds to eats three baskets of apples. The waiter asks the sheik about the voracious appetite of the rooster. The sheik explains, "A genie granted me three wishes. My first wish was to have an endless supply of money. My second wish was to have many beautiful women. And my third wish was to have an insatiable cock."
Q: Why do women have arms? A: Have you any idea how long it would take to lick a bathroom clean?
A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The Bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside." The women start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men here have it short and thin." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor. The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here have it long and thin." Still, this isn't good enough so the friends continue on up. They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here have it short and thick." They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up. On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here have it long and thick." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor. There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."