Joke #5135

Q. Why did the woman bury her husband 12 feet under? A. Because deep down he's a good person.
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What did God say after she made Eve? "Practice makes perfect."
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I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labour and the nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, "Congratulations sir, you’re the new father of twins!" The man replied, "How about that, I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Company." The man then followed the woman to his wife’s room. About an hour later, the same nurse entered the waiting room and announced that Mr. Smith’s wife has just had triplets. Mr. Smith stood up and said, "Well, how do ya like that, I work for the 3M Company." The gentleman that was sitting next to me then got up and started to leave. When I asked him why he was leaving, he remarked, "I think I need a breath of fresh air." The man continued, "I work for 7-UP."
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Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be Hell.
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Why is a man different from a PC? You only have to tell the PC once.
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Men have two emotions: hungry and horny. So if you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
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Why do men want to vote for a female President? Because we'd only have to pay her half as much.
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If you want to know why men are called the 'opposite sex', express an opinion!
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(A) You are not Tom Cruise, (B) The guns may stop working at the last moment, (C) The Enemy is 1000 times intelligent than you, (D) Your family might not like the amount of compensation on your behalf (E) Just remember, "the safest way to win over your enemies is by making them your friends!"
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What does a man make best for dinner? Reservations.
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The Perfect Man: - wakes up at 5 am everyday - exercises everyday - makes his own bed - cleans his room - works sincerely - does not touch alcohol - helps in the kitchen - does not indulge in night life - always punctual - prays daily - hits the bed at 9 pm sharp Such a perfect man can only be found in jail.
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