Joke #5135

Q. Why did the woman bury her husband 12 feet under? A. Because deep down he's a good person.
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A man went into the drugstore and asked for a deodorant. "The ball type?" asked the clerk. "No," said the dumb man. "It's for my underarms."
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A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. "Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that." "Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack." The young man makes his purchase and leaves. Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over to him and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person." The boy leans over to her and whispers, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."
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Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage? Because they are tired of using their own.
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Q: What does a shot of Everclear and a Woman have in common? A: Both of them make men start talking nonsense!
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Men are like buses. One comes every 15 minutes.
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Men are divided into two groups: 50% are wise and 50% have married.
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Man: Great idea, bad design.
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How do you know a man is really a bad dancer? When he can still step on Dolly Parton's toes.
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How is a man like a microwave oven? Just another thing that heats up instantly and goes off in twenty seconds.
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Q: What do you call a man who has lost 98% of his brain? A: A widower.
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