Joke #5135

Q. Why did the woman bury her husband 12 feet under? A. Because deep down he's a good person.
Vote: has 50.45 % from 9 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"
Vote: has 52.06 % from 186 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: marriage, math, men, wedding, women
How do most men compare to Mel Gibson? They have everything he has, except talent, money, and looks.
Vote: has 28.61 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men
Q: How many men does it take to open a beer? A: None, it better be open when she brings it to you.
Vote: has 30.43 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beer, men, women
General McKenzie was in charge of the Navy, and he was visiting his colleague General Marshall, who was in charge of the Army. McKenzie arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Marshall. They both walk around the place, and McKensie asks: "So how are your men?" "Very well trained, Gral. McKenzie." "I hope so. You see, my men over at the Navy are so well trained, you could see they're the bravest men all over the country." "Well, my men are very brave, too." "I'd like to see that." So Marshall calls private Cooper and says: "Private Johnson! I want you to stop that tank coming here with your body!" "Are you crazy? It'd kill me, you idiot! I'm out of here!" As private Johnson ran away, Marshall turned to a bewildered McKenzie and said: "You see? You have to be pretty brave to talk like that to a general."
Vote: has 83.59 % from 254 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: health, men, military, navy
Definition of a man with manners – he gets out of the bath to pee.
Vote: has 28.61 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men
Q. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A. Breasts don't have eyes.
Vote: has 44.24 % from 10 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men
When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big boobs. When I was 16 I got a girlfriend with big boobs, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life. In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability. When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement. When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition. When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned. I am older and wiser now, and I am looking for a girl with big boobs.
Vote: has 79.48 % from 65 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men
Boy: "Do you like parties?" Girl: "Yes, why?" Boy: "Well then jump in my pants and have a ball!"
Vote: has 74.36 % from 56 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, flirt, men, party, women
A guy sits down at the bar and orders drink after drink rapidly. “Is everything okay, pal?”, the bartender asks. “My wife and I got into a fight and she said she isn’t talking to me for a month!”. Trying to put a positive spin on things, the bartender says, “Well, maybe that’s kind of a good thing. You know, a little peace and quiet?” “Yeah. But today is the last day”.
Vote: has 74.78 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bar, bartender, drunk, men
Q: What would men do if they had breasts? A: They'd stay at home and play with them all day.
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men