Teacher: "Four crows are on the fence.
The farmer shoots one. How many are left?"
Little Johnny: "None."
Teacher: "Listen carefully: Four crows are on the fence.
The farmer shoots one.
How many are left?"
Little Johnny: "None."
Teacher: "Can you explain that answer?"
Little Johnny: "One is shot, the others fly away.
There are none left."
Teacher: "Well, that isn't the correct answer, but I like the way you think."
Little Johnny: "Teacher, can I ask a question?"
Teacher: "Sure."
Little Johnny: "There are three women in the ice cream parlor.
One is licking, one is biting and one is sucking her ice cream cone.
Which one is married?"
Teacher: "The one sucking the cone."
Little Johnny: "No.
The one with the wedding ring on, but I like the way you think."
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Little Johnny was going to his faters house one day and he was packing everthing in his room and putting it in his little red wagon.
He was walking to his fathers house with his wagon behind him, when he came to this hill.
He started up the hill but was constantly swearing "This damn thing is so heavy"
A priest heard him and came out.
"You shouldn't be swearing" said the priest.
"God hears you...He is everywhere...He's in the chruch...He's on the sidewalk...He's everywhere"
Then Little Johnny says "Oh is he in my Wagon"
The priest replies "Yes Johnny God is in your Wagon"
Little Johnny says "Well tell him to get the hell out and start pulling"
Little Mary came back home after school and said,
"Mommy, today during the school break Johnny kissed me on my lips!"
The mother asked indignantly but in surprise,
"And how did this happen?"
"It was not easy, but three of my classmates helped me to hold him firm."
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A priest asks Johnny if he's scared of Satan.
Little Johnny says "I have nothing to be scared of you are the one that must be scared; you talk crap about him every Sunday..."
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One night Little Johnny was really scared sleeping by himself at camp, so he sprints out of his tent and runs to his teachers tent and asks "Miss can I please sleep with you tonight ?".
His teacher replies "NO"
Johnny moans and says "But my mummy lets me".
"OK then, just for tonight" the teacher replies.
Johnny jumps into bed with her and asks "Miss can I please play with your belly button with my finger".
She again says "NO".
"But my mummy lets me" says Johnny again.
"Well I suppose it's OK" replies the teacher.
Things are silent for a few minutes until the teacher leaps up screaming "THAT'S NOT MY BELLY BUTTON"
Little Johnny replies "It aint my finger either".
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Johnny asked his mom how to deal with a girl at school who liked him a lot.
His mom told him to find out how she really feels.
Johnny asked how to do this and his mom told him to beat around the bush.
Johnny then said, "what, just like you and dad do??"
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Little Johnny's brother, Little Jimmy, was in the toilet throwing Johnny's toys in the toilet.
Johnny saw his brother doing this and yelled "JIMMY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
His brother replied "Next time you'll think twice before you don't let me play with you."
Little Jimmy threw a toy car in the toilet and said "Bye bye, racecars!"
Little Johnny stuck little Jimmy head in the toilet saying "Bye bye brother!"
Teacher asks Little Johnny to use the word 'definitely' in a sentence.
Little Johnny replies, "Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?"
The Teacher says, "Of course not Johnny,"
To which Johnny replies, "Then I have definitely shit my pants then..."
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Teacher: "If you bought 8 hotdogs,9 cheese burgers and 7 fillet o fishes and you ate 8 hotdogs 9 cheese burger and 7 fillet o fish what do you have at the end?"
Little Johnny: "A bad blatter issue."
The teacher was asking the end of the day question that she asks every Friday.
If the student got it right they would not have to go to school on Monday.
Little Johnny Was determined to answer correctly.
So he painted two black marbles black and rolled them to the teachers feet.
All of a sudden she Shouted out, "Who's the commedian with the black balls?".
Johnny shouted out, "Bill Cosby, see ya on Tuesday suckas!".
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On Sunday little Johnny with his dad went for bathing.
The ground was slippery.
So poor boy for avoiding of knocking down grabbed his father's penis.
His father smiled and told him: "Oh boy you are lucky. If you were with your mother you were concussion!"