Joke #5240

A blonde's house was on fire. She called 911 and started screaming, "Help me, please! My house is burning! Hurry!" The operator said, "Okay, calm down and we'll be there soon. How do we get to your house?" The blonde answered, "Duh, in that big red truck!"
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has 53.07 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: blonde

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Q: Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air? A: She missed.
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Once a blonde went to the library to get a book. A few days later, she returns and says to librarian at the counter, "This book was very boring. It had too many characters and too many numbers, so i would like to return it." The librarian says to the other librarian, "So here is the person who took our phone book!"
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has 62.19 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: blonde
As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Simpson became too furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous blonde. As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the blonde suddenly whirled, slapped Mr. Simpson, and said, "That will teach you to pinch!" Bewildered, Mr. Simpson was halfway to the parking lot with his wife when he choked, "I...I...didn't pinch that girl." "Of course you didn't" said his wife, consolingly. "I did."
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has 84.13 % from 569 votes. More jokes about: blonde, husband, marriage
A brunette is walking through the country, when she finds a bottle. She rubs it and, you guessed it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You are allowed three wishes. But, I must warn you, anything you get, all the blondes in the world get twice as much." The woman says, "Okay. Give me a nice house." The genie replies, "You now have one nice house and all the blondes in the world have two." The the lady says, "Give me a gorgeous man." The genie replies, "You now have one gorgeous man, while all the blondes have two." The lady says, "For my last wish, Genie, see that stick over there? Beat me half to death with it."
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has 42.25 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde was walking down the street, carrying a brown paper bag. She ran into one of her friends. Her friend asked, "Hey! What do you have in the bag?" She tells her friend that she has some fish in the bag. The friend says, "Fish! Well, I'll make you a bet.If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one." The blonde says, "I'll tell you what. If you tell me how many fish I have in this bag, I'll give you both of them."
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has 56.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde buys a used sports car. However, during the first joy ride, the engine jerks and the car slows to a stop. The blonde calls a tow truck. The mechanic sets to work, and 10 minutes later, the car is running again. "What was the matter?" she asks. "Simple really, just sh*t in the carburetor" he replies. Taken aback she asks, "Oh, how many times a week do I have to put that in?"
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has 47.46 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, disgusting, mechanic
Q: How many blonde jokes are there? A: One. The rest are all true stories.
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has 82.37 % from 158 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: What do you call a blonde in the freezer? A: Her parents named her Cindy so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Two blondes finds a mirror on the sidewalk. The first blonde picks it up, looks into it, and says, "Hey, I know this person! I've seen her somewhere before." The second blonde takes the mirror, looks into it, and says, "Duh! Of course you have that's me!"
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has 73.56 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde was trapped on an island and had to swim 1000 miles to get back to the mainland. She swam 500 miles and got tired, so swam back to the island.
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has 22.04 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: blonde