Joke #5289

Why do guys think more then girls, and why do girls talk more then guys? Because guys have two heads and girls have two sets of lips.
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Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. So to teach her a lesson I said, "Just for that you don't get any butter for a month." Today in the kitchen she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try."
Vote: has 68.81 % from 53 votes. Send joke:
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The woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office. "What seems to be the problem?" the doctor asked. "Well, I, uh," she stammered. "I think I, uh, might be a nymphomaniac." "I see," he said. "I can help you, but I must advise you that my fee is $80 an hour." "That’s not bad," she replied. "How much for all night?"
Vote: has 72.84 % from 66 votes. Send joke:
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Sometimes I wish I was a bird: I would fly over certain people and shit on their heads.
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The fingers of my girlfriend were in my pants; I asked her "Is it thick?" She said "yes dear." Again I asked: "Is it warm?" She replied: "yes honey." Then I asked: "Is it soft?" She said, "yes of course." "It is my shit!" I told her.
Vote: has 68.85 % from 127 votes. Send joke:
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There is this guy and he wants to marry a girl but he is bad at choosing girls so he has a contest. First one to get as many ping pong balls as they can is my wife. The first girl brings back a whole bucket of them. the guy goes good, good. The 2 girl brings back a truck load of ping pong balls. He says, "Wow that will be hard to beat." Then the 3 girl comes back all bloody and bruised and is holding 2 big bloody things. The guy says, "What are those, I said ping pong balls." "Oh,"Says the 3 girl, "I thought you said King Kong's balls."
Vote: has 77.94 % from 177 votes. Send joke:
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Little Johnny's dad is sitting on the side of the bed rolling on a condom about to give his wife some. Little Johnny sticks his head in the door, sees his dad and says, "Whatcha doin' Daddy?" Johnny's dad stoops over to cover up his d*ck and starts looking at the floor. "Oh, I'm just looking for this big rat I saw." he says. Little Johnny asks, "Whatcha gonna do, f*ck it?"
Vote: has 79.97 % from 235 votes. Send joke:
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Q: What do you get when you cross a elephant with a witch? A: I don’t know but she will need a very large broom!
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Q: What's long and hard and full of semen? A: A submarine.
Vote: has 56.98 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
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( boy 1 ) : you need to say what ever i say in backwards. ( boy 2 ) : okay. ( boy 1 ) : A B C ( boy 2 ) : C B A ( boy 1 ) : 1 2 3 ( boy 2 ) : 3 2 1 ( boy 1 ) : okay lets make this harder : CRACK MY FINGER ( Boy 2 ) : Finger my crack .
Vote: has 73.53 % from 455 votes. Send joke:
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Yo momma's clitoris is as long as my dick.
Vote: has 63.93 % from 55 votes. Send joke:
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