Joke #5400

How many Feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1) None. Feminists can't change anything. 2) Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to berate any men who offer to help.
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Q: How many men does it take to open a beer? A: None, it better be open when she brings it to you.
Vote: has 30.43 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What do you call a 900-pound woman with a yeast infection? A: A whopper with cheese.
Vote: has 36.51 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

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Johnny comes home from school and asks his mom what is a "period". His mom says that "A period is when a woman needs to realease her dead egg cells". Johnny asks what color is it. She says it's red. Johnny said "I have one of those but mine is white and it makes babies."
Vote: has 50.22 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with, "A man once told me..."
Vote: has 46.20 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

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In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
Vote: has 87.89 % from 513 votes. Send joke:

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Three women are discussing their teenage daughters. The first declares: “I was so shocked last week. I was tidying my daughter”s room and I found a packet of cigarettes under her pillow. I didn’t even know that she smoked!” “It gets worse than that,” says the second mother. “I was tidying my daughter”s room last week and I found a bottle of vodka under her bed. I didn’t even know that she drank!” “Oh, it gets even worse than that,” says the third mother. “I was tidying my daughter”s room last week and you”ll never guess what I found in her bedside cabinet: a packet of condoms! I didn’t even know that she had a penis!”
Vote: has 82.24 % from 117 votes. Send joke:

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A man came up with a new invention, a vibrating tampon. That way a woman can be at her best when she is at her worst.
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Q: If your wife is shouting at the front door and your dog is barking at the back door, who do you let in first? A: The dog, of course. At least he'll shut up after you let him in.
Vote: has 84.60 % from 790 votes. Send joke:

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Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
Vote: has 44.64 % from 80 votes. Send joke:

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Andrew went to Medical Insurance to apply for his pension. The woman behind the bench asked for his driving license to verify his age, but he had left his wallet home. He said to her that he had to go home and return later. The woman said: "Unbuckle your shirt." And so he did, revealing his curly, gray hair of his chest. "These gray hair is quite a nice proof for me," she said and continued with his application form. When Andrew went home, he said to his wife what had happened. "You should have taken your pants off," she said, "Maybe you would have taken disability pension too!"
Vote: has 50.97 % from 78 votes. Send joke:

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