Joke #5486

little Johnny: Dad, will you do my math for me tonight? Dad: No, son, it wouldn't be right. little Johnny: Well, you could try.

One day little Johnny was digging a hole in his back yard. The next-door neighbor spotted him and decided to investigate. "Hello Johnny, what are you up to?" he asked. "My goldfish died and I'm gonna bury him," Johnny replied. "That's a really big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" asked the neighbor. "That's because he's inside your cat!"

Little Johnny's teacher asks him to make a sentence using the following words: defeat, deduct, defense and detail. Little Johnny says, "De feet of de duck went over de fence before de tail."

Teacher: "Who can tell what is a mammal? Little Johnny: "My grand mother!"

Johny went to the butchery, because he wanted to buy a little brain, so he has asked the saleswoman: "have you got a little brain?" The saleswoman has said: "yes, we have." Johny has asked her: "and is the little brain still fresh?" The saleswoman has said: "yes, yesterday he has successfully solved the crossword puzzles."

Little Johnny is sitting in class, the teacher is going over vocabulary words. She asks the class to use a word in a sentence. The teacher says the word is "contagious". Johnny is waving his arm up and down, no other students have their arm up. The teacher figures there is no way Johnny can come up something rude for this word, and she calls his name to use the word in a sentence. Johnny says the other day, my dad and I were driving down the freeway and woman was painting a billboard, she was using a very small brush. The teacher says "what does this have to do the word contagious?" Johnny says "my dad turned to me and said: 'Son it is going to take that "cunt-ages" to paint that billboard with that little brush!'" The teacher says, "never again!"

Little Johnny asks the teacher, "Mrs Roberts, can I be punished for something I haven't done?" Mrs Roberts is shocked, "Of course not, Johnny, that would be very unfair!" Little Johnny is relieved, "OK Mrs Roberts, sorry, I haven't done my homework."

Little Johnny's dad was constantly bragging about him to everyone. He was always telling everyone he met how his little Johnny did this, little Johnny did that, and little Johnny was the best kid ever. One day little Johnny's dad was outside leaning on the fence talking to his next door neighbor. As usual it was "little Johnny did this, little Johnny did that, little Johnny's the best kid ever." Just then the school bus pulled up and little Johnny himself got off the bus. His dad was elated. He turned back to the neighbor and said, "There's my little Johnny now! Isn't he the best kid ever? I'll ask him how his day went." So when little Johnny walked by on his way into the house his dad said;  "So little Johnny, how was school today?" "Oh school was great today dad! I had SEX in school today!" Then little Johnny went on into the house. His dad turned to his neighbor and said ever so proudly, "That's my little Johnny, he had SEX in school today! What a kid!" Next day little Johnny's dad was back at the fence again talking to the next door neighbor as the bus pulled up again. As little Johnny was getting off the bus, his dad turned to the neighbor and said "There's my little Johnny, what a boy! Watch this, I'll ask him if he had SEX in school again today!" As little Johnny walked by on his way into the house his dad called out to him "Hey little Johnny, did you have SEX in school again today?" "Oh no dad, my butt's still sore from yesterday!"

One day little Johnny was playing on his push car that u sit on and push with your feet. His looked like a bus, and as such he was the bus driver. Little Johnny would drive a little, stop, and say "all you mother fuckers that want to get on, get on. And all you mother fuckers that want to get off, get off." His mother was in the kitchen and thought surely I didn't hear him correctly. But then once again, little Johnny stopped and said "all you mother fuckers that want to get on, get on. And all you mother fuckers that want t o get off, get off." So him mom came running out and told her young son he was to go to his room 'till he learned to play right. About 20 minutes later Johnny came out to play. Be reassured his mom he learned his lesson. So, back on his bus, he began driving around again. He stopped and said "all you nice people that want to get off, get off. And all you nice people that want to get on, get on. And all you mother fuckers that want to know why I'm late, ask the bitch in the kitchen.

During the soccer match little Johny sits in the front row. His friend asks: How did you get tickets? From my brother - respond Petya. And where is your brother? At home. Looking for his ticket.

A teacher said to her class, "Right, i'm going to hold something under the desk and i want you to guess it. This one is round and red." Little Johnny's hand shot up, but he was ignored. "It's a plum miss," said a girl. "no it's an apple, but i like your thinking. The next one is oval shaped and green." The teacher ignored Little Johnny again and a boy said, "It's a kiwi miss." No, it's a guana, but i like your thinking." Little Johnny said, " I got one miss, its stiff, about an inch long and with a red nib." "Johny, thats disgusting!" shouted the teacher. " no it's a match, but i like your thinking." Said Little Johnny.