Joke #549

The only church which is disseminating light and warmth is the burning church.
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has 18.45 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: black humor, church

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A guy has a bad habit: He loves to hit pedestrians while he drives. So one day he's driving andsees an old lady with a cane and he decides to control his urge to swerve and hit her but he can't. Later, he sees a kid skating and can't resist hitting the kid. Finally, he decides he needs help from above so he goes to a church and asks the pastor for help. So after church, the pastor invites him to his house for lunch. They get in the car and start to drive down the street, and just as he starts to tell the pastor about his problem, he sees an old blind man walking down the street. He swerves toward him but misses, and the pastor says, "Don't worry. I got him with the door!"
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has 72.95 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, church, kids, love
"I want a divorce"! "But you made a vow in the church that we remain together till death do us part." "I guess you are right. Very well, go ahead and drink up the tea I made for you."
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has 66.69 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: black humor, church, death, divorce, wedding
Little Johnny was going to his faters house one day and he was packing everthing in his room and putting it in his little red wagon. He was walking to his fathers house with his wagon behind him, when he came to this hill. He started up the hill but was constantly swearing "This damn thing is so heavy" A priest heard him and came out. "You shouldn't be swearing" said the priest. "God hears you...He is everywhere...He's in the chruch...He's on the sidewalk...He's everywhere" Then Little Johnny says "Oh is he in my Wagon" The priest replies "Yes Johnny God is in your Wagon" Little Johnny says "Well tell him to get the hell out and start pulling"
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has 69.03 % from 259 votes. More jokes about: church, dad, god, little Johnny, priest
What's the best way to pick up a Jewish girl? Bring a dustpan to Auschwitz
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has 30.92 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Q: How can you tell if you're in a gay church? A: Only half the congregation is kneeling.
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has 65.96 % from 132 votes. More jokes about: church, disgusting, gay
Q: Why can't skeletons play music at a church? A: They have no organs.
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has 66.96 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: church, music
Black preacher is driving home from church and sees the white preacher walking down the road. He reluctantly pulls over to offer him a ride. A short distance along the way the whit guy says " you people don't actually think Jesus was black do you?" "And what makes think he's not?" The black pastor snaps back. The conversation becomes so heated less than needed attention was paid to the road and both men died in a trgic head on collision. When st. Peter opened the pearly gates to heaven before them, there stood Jesus Christ himself. He spread his arms slowly in a welcoming gesture and said "Buenos dias amigos!"
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has 56.08 % from 187 votes. More jokes about: black people, church, death, god, heaven
Little Johnny was in church, getting restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Not able to take it anymore, he leaned over to his father and whispered, "Hey, Dad, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"
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has 67.09 % from 187 votes. More jokes about: church, dad, little Johnny, money, priest
One day, Muhammad's wife called him a pedophile. In response, Muhammad asked his wife, "So, how does a 9-year-old know such a big word like that?"
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has 54.59 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: age, black humor, communication, kids, wife
The church is struck by lightning. The insurance company refuses to pay out for damages incurred, as there is a specific disclaimer clause for "An act of God", which, amongst others, lightning is classified as. The priest goes to every household and asks for a donation to rebuild the church. One Christian farmer protested, "I'm sorry, Pastor, but I can't give money to Somebody who set His own house alight!"
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has 76.26 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: christian, church, god, life, priest