A parrot swallows a Viagra tablet. His owner, disgusted, puts him in the freezer to cool off. Later when he opens the freezer, he finds the parrot sweating. "How come you are sweating?" he asks. The parrot replies, "Do you know how hard it is to open the legs of a frozen chicken?"
A man went to the doctor’s office to get a double dose of Viagra. The doctor told him that he couldn’t allow him a double dose. “Why not?” asked the man. “Because it’s not safe,” replied the doctor. “But I need it really bad,” said the man. “Well, why do you need it so badly?” asked the doctor. The man said, “My girlfriend is coming into town on Friday; my ex-wife will be here on Saturday; and my wife is coming home on Sunday. Can’t you see? I must have a double dose.” The doctor finally relented saying, “Okay, I’ll give it to you, but you have to come in on Monday morning so that I can check you to see if there are any side effects.” On Monday, the man dragged himself in; his arm in a sling. The doctor asked, “What happened to you?” The man said, “No one showed up.”
A stranger walks up to an Egyptian man at the Cairo bazaar and offers to sell him contraband Viagra for 100 Egyptian pounds. The Egyptian man says, "No, not worth it." The stranger says, "How about 20?" The Egyptian man says, "No, not worth it." The stranger says, "How about 10?" The Egyptian man says, "No, not worth it." The stranger says, "Listen, these pills cost $10 each in the U.S. How can you say they're not worth it?" The Egyptian man says, "Oh, the pills are worth it my wife isn't."
A young punk gets on the cross-town bus. He's got spiked, multi-colored hair that's green, purple, and orange. His clothes are a tattered mix of leather rags. His legs are bare and he's wearing worn-out shoes. His entire face and body are riddled with pierced jewelry and his earrings are big, bright feathers. He sits down in the only vacant seat that's directly across from an old man who glares at him for the next ten miles. Finally, the punk gets self-conscious and barks at the old man, "What are you looking at you old fart... didn't you ever do anything wild when you were young?" Without missing a beat, the old man replies, "Yeah, back when I was young and in the Navy, I got really drunk one night in Singapore and screwed a parrot.... I thought maybe you were my son.''
Bloke in hospital with 60% burns, Dr. says, "Give him two Viagra." Nurse asks, "Do you think that will help?" Dr replies, "No but it will keep the sheets off his legs!"
Q: Have you tried Starbucks new hot beverage, Viagraccino? A: One cup and you're up all night.
New generic drug replacement for Viagra – it's called Mycoxaflopin.
This lady is on an airplane and is seated next to a man named Ian McKegney. About half an hour after they take off, Ian sneezed. He calmly opened his fly, took out his penis and wiped it with a handkerchief. The lady was shocked but a little too shy to say anything. About 15 minutes later, Ian sneezed again and then once more opened his fly, grabbed his penis and wiped it off. The lady could not beleive it, and being to shy to mention it, she thought to herself, "If he does that again, I'm definitely going to mention it." Well, guess what? About 10 minutes later, Ian sneezed again and proceeded as before. She turned to Ian and said, "That is disgusting! Must you do that in front of me?" Ian apologized and explained that it was a medical condition, "Every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm," he explained. "Really, what do you take for that?" she asked. Ian replied, "Pepper."
A man and his wife went to the pharmacy to pick up his prescription for Viagra. Seeing the $10 per pill price his wife was astonished - but then realized "it's only going to cost us $30 per year."
Q: Did you hear about the new Viagra eye-drops? A: Apparently they make you look hard.