Q:What's the definition of mixed emotions?
A:When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your brand new car.
Similar jokes
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Jennifer, wanna go to my place?
I am not Jennifer
But I didn't ask about that...
What's the difference between a mosquito and a woman?
When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.
Q: Why do women have smaller feet than men?
A: So they can stand closer to the sink.
Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground.
One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, "You see that Indian?"
"Yeah," says the other cowboy.
"Look," says the first one, "he's listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction."
Just then the Indian looks up.
"Covered wagon," he says, "about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child, household effects in wagon."
"Incredible!" says the cowboy to his friend. "This Indian knows how far away they are, how many horses, what colour they are, who is in the wagon, and what is in the wagon. Amazing!"
The Indian looks up and says, "Ran over me about a half hour ago."
A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of?
Dating children.
The waitress asked how I would like my coffee.
I told her: "like my woman - hot and black".
Vote:
What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.
Q: Why haven't they sent any women to the moon?
A: Because it doesn't need cleaning yet.
A woman was paying for some items in a supermarket - a pint of milk, a packet of bacon, a small bag of rice and a few vegetables.
The man at the checkout said, "I bet you're single, aren't you?"
"Well yes, I am," the woman replied. "How did you know?"
"Because you're really ugly," replied the man.