Joke #5588

Q:What's the definition of mixed emotions? A:When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your brand new car.
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: women

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An old blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake... He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things: The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat. The bouncer is a blonde girl with a 'Billy-Club'. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy... Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?" The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, "No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times..."
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has 86.10 % from 374 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, blonde, cowboy, women
Q: How do you wake up Lady gaga? A: Poke her face.
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has 61.99 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: music, women
A government employee sat in his office, and out of boredom, decided to see what was inside his old filing cabinet. He poked through the contents and came across an old brass lamp. "This will look good on my mantel," he said, and took it home with him. While polishing the lamp, a genie appeared and, as usual, granted him three wishes. "I would like an ice-cold Coke right now." He gets his Coke and drinks it. Now that he can think more clearly, he states his second wish. "I wish to be on an island with beautiful women, who find me irresistible." Suddenly, he's on an island with gorgeous women eyeing him lustfully. He tells the genie his third and last wish. "I wish I'd never have to work again." Instantly, he was back in his government office.
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has 77.88 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: beauty, life, political, women, work
A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks. "I'm going down to give blood." "How much do you get paid for giving blood?" "About $20." "Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman angrily gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again. "Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?" "Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full.
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has 70.46 % from 157 votes. More jokes about: medical, men, money, sex, women
Woman: When you're finished with me, will my husband think I'm beautiful? Beautician: Maybe. Does he still drink a lot?
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has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, beauty, husband, women
On a crowded bus, an old lady noticed that a man had his eyes closed. "What's the matter? Are you sick?" she asked. "No, I'm okay. It's just that I hate to see old ladies standing."
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has 59.75 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: women
Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger. What do men dream of? Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins.
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: men, women
Q: How do you know if a girl is pregnant? A: Shove a tampon and see if all of the cotton is picked.
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has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, women
Black man found a bottle in the desert, opened it and the genie flew out: "Ask for what you want - I'll fulfill three of your wishes!" "I want to be white, often see nude woman, and that I will always be full of water!" Genie waved his hand and turned the black man to a water closet...
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has 41.10 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: black people, genie, racist, women
Q: What's the similarity between a woman and dog poop? A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
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has 46.63 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: age, disgusting, women