What did the leper say to the prostitute?
Keep the tip.
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Johny is the first day in jail in the cell with one mighty and a crazy prisoner and this crazy prisoner tells Johny: "You probably do not know that on the first day must every new prisoner must pass over the so-called welcome´s ceremonial. Ok, so I ask you directly. Do you want it with cream or without the cream?"
Johny says: "I want it with creme, of course."
The crazy prisoner yells and says: "Cremo, come here, please."
Q: How many gays does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None because they screw each other the dirty fucks.
Vote:
"Is it rape if it's your wife?"
"I don't think so."
"What a relief! I thought you'd be mad as hell!"
What is the geographical definition of s*x?
Ans: It is an action done by the polland in the holland between the thailand with the little help of greece.
Q: Why don't witches wear panties when flying on their broomsticks?
A: Better traction.
My girlfriend has 206 bones in her body. Now 207.
Now 206. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207...
What did the two tampons say to eachother?
Nothing , because they were both stuck up bitches.
Q: Why do black women lose their hair at an early age?
A: From all of the hair pulling during rape.
A pregnant woman is about to give birth.
The doctor has her on the delivery table, legs up in the stirrups.
Suddenly, he sees the top of a head push through.
Then the baby pops its head out and says to the doctor, “Are you my dad?”.
The doctor says, “No, I am your doctor!”.
With that, the baby pops right back inside.
“Damn!”, says the doctor.
A short while later he sees the head push through again.
“Are you my dad?”, asks the baby.
“No, I am your doctor.”, he replies.
Once again the baby vanishes back into his mother’s womb.
The doctor turns to a nurse and says, “Nurse, get that baby’s father in here right away–we may have a situation on our hands!”.
Moments later the baby’s father is in the delivery room, and the baby’s head once again pops out.
“Are you my dad?”, the baby asks of the father.
The father replies, “Yes, little baby, I am your father!”
The baby then reaches up and begins poking his father in the forehead with his index finger–”How do you like that?”
Once there was this man whose car broke down.
He realized after looking for help for 10 minutes that there was a small farmhouse with an old lady sitting on the porch.
He told her his unfortunate story and she gladly let him in.
But first she told him, ''I have three rules that you musn't break or I'll see to it that you meet justice! But since talking hurts my throat so much, I won't tell you my rules.''
She let him sleep in the laundry room.
He found himself a comfortable pile of old wool sweaters.
After puffing his "pillow" he realized that a pair of pants were hanging down from a clothes line over top of his new bed.
Seeing that it was no big deal he pulled them down.
Instantly the old lady darted into the room and said, ''YOU BROKE MY FIRST RULE!''
He was sent outside to sleep in the donkey's stable.
Right beside him was a tiny donkey kicking him so much that he slapped it.
In a flash grandma was there: ''You broke the second rule.
Watch out.''
He was sent onto the porch to sleep.
All of a sudden a big, ugly cat came along and started rubbing all over him.
Being allergic to cat hair, he shaved it bald.
Here came the grandma.
''You broke the third rule,'' she starts, ''I'm calling the cops.''
The cops came and requested a description of what happened.
The old lady said, ''That man is a damned rapist.
He pulled down my pants, slapped my ass and shaved my pussy!''