Joke #6072

What did the leper say to the prostitute? Keep the tip.
Vote: has 48.13 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

To celebrate their 7th anniversary, a man and his wife spend the weekend at an exclusive golf resort. He is a pretty good golfer, but she only just started. When they head down to the golf course after a lavish lunch and a bottle of champagne, they notice a beautiful mansion a couple of hundred yards behind the first hole. "Let's be extra careful, honey," the husband says, "If we damage that house over there, it'll cost us a fortune." The wife nods, tees off and - bang! - sends the ball right through the window of the mansion. "Jesus Christ," the husband says. "I told you to watch out for that house. Alright, let's go up there, apologize and see what the damage is." They walk up to the house and knock on the door. "Come on in," a voice in the house says. The couple open the door and enter the foyer. The living room is a mess. There are pieces of glass all over the floor and a broken bottle near the window. A man sits on the couch. When the couple enter the room, he gets up and says, "Are you the guys who just broke my window?" "Um, yeah," the husband replies, "sorry about that." "Not at all, it's me who has to thank you. I'm a genie and was trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. You've just released me. To show my gratitude, I'm allowed to grant each of you a wish. But - I'll require one favor in return." "Really? That's great!" the husband says. "I want a million dollars a year for the rest of my life." "No problem - that's the least I can do. And you, what do you want?" the genie asks, looking at the wife. "I want a house in every country of the world," the wife says. The genie smiles. "Consider it done." "And what's this favor we must grant in return, genie?" the husband asks. "Well, since I've been trapped in that stupid bottle for the last thousand years, I haven't had sex with a woman for a very long time. My wish is to sleep with your wife." The husband scratches his head, looks at the wife and says, "Well, we did get a lot of money and all these houses, honey. So I guess I'm fine if it's alright with you." The genie and the wife disappear in a room upstairs and make love for an hour, while the husband stays in the living room. When they are done, the genie rolls over, looks at the wife and asks, "How old exactly is your husband?" "31," she replies. "And he still believes in genies? That's amazing!"
Vote: has 74.78 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: anniversary, dirty, genie, golf, marriage
My girl caught me blowing my dick with the air dryer, and asked what I was doing? Apparently "heating your dinner" wasn't a good answer.
Vote: has 82.59 % from 912 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, food
A guy goes to the store to buy condoms. "Do you want a bag?", the cashier asks. "No", the guy says, "She's not that ugly."
Vote: has 62.75 % from 93 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, ugly
Girl, you should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a wiener stand!
Vote: has 68.80 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, dirty, flirt, food, sex
Two gays Rupert and Cecil are lying in bed together Rupert starts rubbing vaseline on his chest. Cecil ask, "What you doing?"" Rupert said, "I read that vaseline stimulates hair growth and I want a hairy chest. Cecil said, "Don't be fucking stupid, if that was true I would have a ponytail sticking out of my arse..."
Vote: has 78.15 % from 105 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Q: Why are pubic hairs curly? A: So you don't poke your eye out.
Vote: has 46.20 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Mickey Mouse is having a nasty divorce with Minnie Mouse. Mickey spoke to the judge about the separation. "I'm sorry Mickey, but I can't legally separate you two on the grounds that Minnie is mentally insane..." Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was mentally insane, I said that she's fucking goofy!"
Vote: has 83.21 % from 315 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, divorce, lawyer
Whats the second thing thats hard in the morning? waking up!
Vote: has 57.64 % from 65 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he sells size extra large condoms. He replies, "Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?" She responds, "No sir, but do you mind if I wait around here until someone does?"
Vote: has 82.46 % from 458 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, drug, women
Three policemen are sitting in a car. Bored, as cards and domino make them sick already. On thinks of an idea: Guys, lets play golf. All we need is a stick, ball and a hole. I can arrange a stick, – one says. I will get a ball, - adds another. Guys, I’m not playing this dirty game, - says the third one.
Vote: has 58.99 % from 59 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty