Girl: Baby im wet.
Boy: Want a paper towel?
Girl: No, i want more then that ;)
Boy: Want 2 paper towels?
Girl: No, baby i want sumthing big and round ;)
Boy: Damn you want the whole roll?
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Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Laura?
I stopped a girl in the street last night and handed her a rape alarm and some pepper spray.
She looked confused and said, "What are these for?"
I started unbuttoning my jeans and replied, "I like a challenge."
My girlfriend asked me for the 7th time in a row for me to smash raw...
She must think I'm made of coat hangers.
Vote:
Q: What does Barbie use as a tampon?
A: A Tic-Tac.
A guy went to a casino and lost all 10 000$.
Swearing for the situation he goes to a taxi driver and asks:
I have lost all my money, please give me a ride back home for free.
Fuck off, no money, no ride.
The next day the guys come to casino again and this time he successfully won all the money back and 10 000$ extra.
Hi goes out of the casino happily and sees five taxis, and the last car is the one, which refused to give a ride for free yesterday.
He goes to the first taxi and says:
Will you take me home for 100$
Sure!
But when you take me there you'll have to do the blow-job as well
Fuck off, man..
The guys goes to all next three cars and the story repeats.
Finally he goes to the last taxi driver, who refused to help a day ago, and says:
Will you take me home for 100$?
Sure!
Deal, but you have to pass through those other four taxi drivers very, very slowly.
Two old ladies are walking through a museum and got separated.
When they ran into each other later the first old lady said to the second, "Oh my! Did you see that statue of the naked man back there?"
The second old lady replied, "Yes! I was absolutely shocked! How can they display such a thing! My gosh the penis on it was so large!"
Where upon the first old lady accidentally blurted out, "...Yeah, and cold, too!"
Q: What did the prick say to the balls?
A: You guys hang around here while I go inside!
Roses are red
violets are blue.
My dick has glue
I offer it to you.
Q: How are rape and an airplane similar?
A: The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.