Joke #6460

Hallmark would make "Sorry I don't remember your name" cards. If your girlfriend really needs to talk to you during the game, she'll appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out. A smack to the ass and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time," would complete a break up. Birth control would come in ale or lager. Instead of an engagement ring, you could surprise your fiance with a giant "You're #1!" foam hand. Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th, so it would only occur in leap years.
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has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: game, marriage, Valentines day

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A man wanted Valentine's Day to be special, so he bought a bottle of absinthe and stopped by the florist's to order a bouquet of his wife's favorite flower: white anemones. Unfortunately, the florist was sold out of flowers and had only a few stems of feathery ferns. The man asked the florist to make a bouquet out of the ferns and the flask of liquor. He added a card and proceeded home. After a romantic candlelight dinner, he presented his wife with the gift. She opened the card to read, "Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder." With a tear in her eye, she whispered to him lovingly, "Yes, and with fronds like these, who needs anemones."
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has 74.49 % from 235 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, marriage, romantic, Valentines day, wife
"Honey, on this Valentine's Day, I want to tell you something... I'm not rich like Jack, I don't have a mansion like Russell, or I don't have a Porsche like Martin, but I do love you and want to marry you." "Oh, dear... I love you too... but, what was that you said about Martin?"
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has 68.66 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: love, marriage, mean, money, Valentines day
A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's Day. "What do you think it means?" "You'll know tonight," he said. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it, only to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams."
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has 58.88 % from 299 votes. More jokes about: marriage, romantic, Valentines day
I just love to do special things for my wife on Valentine's day. Like open the door for her when she puts all the laundry in the washing machine, or plug and unplug the vacuum as she moves from room to room cleaning. Guys, it's these little thoughtful things you can do to have a marriage such as mine.
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has 49.36 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: love, marriage, technology, Valentines day, wife
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.   After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish. Happy Valentine's Day.
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has 47.63 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: marriage, relationship, Valentines day
"What shall we play today?" said Florence to her best friend Jenny. "Let's play schools," said Jenny. "OK!" said Florence. "But I'm going to be absent."
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has 72.04 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: friendship, game, school
Q: What do you call a very small valentine? A: A valen-tiny!
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has 62.79 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: communication, Valentines day
Q: What game did the dentist play when she was a child? A: Caps and robbers
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: dentist, game, kids
The most effective way to remember to buy something to your wife for St. Valentine's Day is... to forget it once!
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has 65.19 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: memory, Valentines day, wife
When Chuck Norris plays sudoku, he can put two same numbers in one square and still solve it right.
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has 39.64 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game