A blonde walked into an electronics store and said to the salesmen: "I want that tv." The salesperson shook his head and said, "No, we don't sell to blondes." So the blonde left and came back with her hair dyed brown and said: "I'll take that tv." Again the salesman said: "No, we don't sell to blondes." So she left again and came back with her hair dyed black and said: "I want that tv." But the salesman still said: "No, we don't sell to blondes." Finally the blonde got fed up and said, "That's it! How'd you know I was a blonde?!" she asked. The salesman answered: "Cause that's a microwave."
A Twitter exchange between an angry customer and an apologetic Domino's Pizza: Customer: "Yoooo I ordered a Pizza & Came with no Toppings on it or anything, it's Just Bread" Domino's: "We're sorry to hear about this!" Customer (minutes later): "Never mind, I opened the pizza upside down :/"
One day a man, who had been stranded on a desert island for over ten years sees an unusual speck on the horizon. "It's certainly not a ship", he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer and closer he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft. Suddenly, emerging from the surf, comes a drop dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She approaches the stunned guy and says: "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a cigarette?" "Ten years," replies the stunned man. With that she reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says: "Man, oh man! Is that good!" "And how long has it been since you've had a sip of bourbon?" she asks him. Trembling the castaway replies: "Ten years." She reaches over, unzips her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and hands it to him. He opens the flask, takes a long swig and says: "WOW, that's absolutely fantastic!" At this point she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at the man seductively, and asks: "And how long has it been since you've had some real fun?" With tears in his eyes, the guy falls to his knees and sobs: "Oh good Lord! Don't tell me you've got a laptop?"
A blonde went to the eletronic store and she asked, "How is much is this TV?" The salesman said, "Sorry, we don"t sell to blondes." The next day she came back as a brunette. She asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry, we don"t sell to blondes." The next day she came back as a red head and asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry we don"t sell to blondes." She replied, " I came in here as a brunette and a red head. How do you know I am a blonde?" "Because that is not a TV, it's a microwave."
Q: How do you electrocute a blonde? A: Tell her to demonstrate the proper usage of an electric chair.
Q: How did the blonde kill her toy poodle? A: Trying to put batteries in it.
A man works in the operations department of a large bank. Employees call him from the field when they have problems with their computers. One night a blonde woman from a branch bank called him and said, "I've got smoke coming from the back of my computer terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
A blonde goes into a near by store and asks the clerk if she can buy the T.V. in the corner. The store clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The next day and asks the same thing, and again he said he doesn't serve blondes. Frustrated, the blonde goes back home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Sure the clerk would sell her the T.V. by now, she returns and asks a different clerk this time. To her astonishment, this clerk also says she doesn't serve blondes as well. The blond asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I'm a blonde?" The clerk looks at her and says, "That's not a T.V.- it's a microwave!"
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator? A: The blonde works in the dark!
A blonde walks into a electronic store and asks the manager, “Can I buy that TV” “No” “Why not?” “Because your a blonde.” So the blonde goes out and dyes her hair red. She returned to the electronic store and said, “Can I buy that TV?” “No” “Why not?” “Your a blonde.” So the blonde goes and shaves her hair off and returns to the electronic store and says, “Can I buy that TV?” “No” “Why not?” “You’re a blonde” “How can you tell I’m a blonde, I dyed my hair red, then shaved it off!” “Because that’s not a TV, that’s a microwave!”
A blonde walks in the ice cream parlor and orders a chocolate ice cream cone. The clerk tells her that he has no chocolate ice cream, only vanilla and strawberry. The blonde then orders a pint of chocolate ice cream. The clerk once again tells her he has no chocolate ice cream, just vanilla and strawberry. The blonde then orders a quart of chocolate ice cream. The clerk once again tells her he has no chocolate ice cream, only vanilla and strawberry. The blonde then orders a half gallon of chocolate ice cream. The clerk then asks her how she spells van as in vanilla. She says, V-A-N. He then asks her how she spells straw as in strawberry. She says, S-T-R-A-W He then asks her how she spells fuck as in chocolate. After a while she says there is no fuck in chocolate. THATS WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU