Marraige is a 3-ring circus.
Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
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If it weren’t for marriage, women would have to spend most of their adult lives arguing with complete strangers.
A man, his wife and a good-looking stranger are stranded on a desert island.
The wife quickly loses interest in her husband and begins flirting with the good-looking stranger.
The three start to build a watchtower.
The stranger offers to take first watch.
While the husband and wife gather driftwood on the sand, the stranger yells, "Hey! No sex on the beach! Get back to work!"
The husband yells back, "We're not having sex!"
Later, the stranger yells out to them again.
Again, the husband yells back and corrects him.
This happens several times during the stranger's shift.
Finally, the husband's takes his shift in the watch tower.
His wife and the good-looking stranger make passionate love on the beach.
The husband on watch exclaims, "Wow, it really does look like f**king from up here!"
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Married couples, both 60 years old, were celebrating their 35th anniversary.
During their party, a fairy appeared to congratulate them and grant them each one a wish.
The wife wanted to travel around the world.
The fairy waved her wand and poof - the wife had tickets in her hand for a world cruise.
Next, the fairy asked the husband what he wanted.
He said, "I wish I had a wife 30 years younger than me."
So the fairy picked up her wand and poof - the husband was 90.
Men and women can be friends without any sex involved.
It's called marriage.
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
Women look at a wedding as the beginning of romance, while men look at a wedding as the ending of romance.
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, then when you see what the other person’s got, you wish you’d ordered that.
There are two times when a man doesn’t understand a woman - before and after marriage.
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.
A man calls into the police station and says, "My wife is missing."
The officer asks, "How long has she been gone?"
"A month."
"Why did you wait so long to report it?"
"Well, until yesterday I thought it was just a dream, then I realized I didn’t have any clean clothes to wear."