Joke #6776

Marraige is a 3-ring circus. Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: marriage

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Old Farmer Peter was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you." Peter: "But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Peter: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!"
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has 53.58 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: death, horse, marriage, wife
I play the worlds most dangerous sport. I disagree with my wife.
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has 83.74 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: communication, marriage, mean, sport, wife
Agnes married and had 13 children. When her husband died, she married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. So Agnes remarried and this time had 5 more children. Alas, she finally died. Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, Lord, theyre finally together. One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, "Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?" The friend replied, "I think he means her legs."
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has 84.08 % from 540 votes. More jokes about: death, husband, kids, marriage, women
Guns don’t kill people – husbands who come home early kill people.
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has 84.52 % from 158 votes. More jokes about: marriage
A woman turns to her husband on their silver wedding anniversary and says, ‘Darling, will you still love me when my hair turns grey?’ Her husband replies, ‘Why not? I stuck with you through the other six shades.’
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has 85.74 % from 550 votes. More jokes about: marriage
A man is driving with his wife at his side and his mother-in-law in the backseat. The women just won’t leave him alone. His mother-in-law says, "You’re driving too fast!" His wife says, "Stay more to the left." After ten mixed orders, the man turns to his wife and asks, "Who’s driving this car – you or your mother?"
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has 80.36 % from 347 votes. More jokes about: car, marriage, mother in law, wife
A woman was suspicious in the loyalty of her husband for a long time and she decided to make him jealous. "My love, what would you say if I was having sex with your best friend?" "I'd say you're a lesbian!"
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has 64.55 % from 225 votes. More jokes about: husband, lesbian, love, marriage, sex
Q: Why do brides smile while they walk down the wedding aisle? A: They realize they've given their last blow jobs.
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has 85.16 % from 274 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Man to friend: ‘My wife’s a peach.’ Friend: ‘Because she’s so soft and juicy?’ Man: ‘No, because she has a heart of stone.’
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has 44.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: marriage
A couple had been married for 50 years and had raised a brood of 10 children and was blessed with 20 grandchildren. When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies, "Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids."
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has 53.30 % from 143 votes. More jokes about: kids, marriage, time