Joke #6817

Russian President Putin called President George W. Bush with an emergency: "Our largest condom factory has exploded," the Russian President cried. "My people's favorite form of birth control. This is a true disaster!" "Mr. Putin, the American people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you," replied the President. "I do need your help" said Putin. "Could you possibly send 1,000,000 condoms as soon as possible to tide us over?" "Why certainly! I'll get right on it,"said Bush. "Oh, and one more small favor, please?" said Putin. "Yes?" "Could the condoms be red in color and at least 10" long and 4" in diameter?" said Putin. "No problem," replied the President. Mr. Putin hung up and started laughing with his aides about how those stupid Americans will fall for anything. George hung up and called the President of a condom company. "I need a favor, you've got to send 1,000,000 condoms right away over to Russia." "Consider it done," said the president of the condom company. "Great! Now listen, they have to be red in color, 10" long and 4" wide." "Easily done. Anything else?" "Yeah," said the President, "print 'Made in America, size small' on each one!"
Vote: has 66.29 % from 380 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: political, sex

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Hillary Clinton isn't taking the loss very well. So I said to her, Cheer up! At least you won't have to work at the same desk that Monica spent so much time under.
Vote: has 84.11 % from 291 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: political, sex, work
Long time ago, in the land of Persia there lived a powerful king and his beautiful queen. The queen was so gorgeous that the king's ministers were obsessed and craving to seduce her. One day, the king got an invitation to visit the King of Ethiopia and left behind his queen and his kingdom. Before leaving, he asked his three ministers to take good care of his queen and all his affairs during his absence. All three pronounced their loyalty. That night, when the queen was deep asleep the king placed a sharp blade inside her because he didn't trust his three ministers. The following week, the king returned and summoned his three ministers to the palace. He ordered all three to strip. To the king's surprise, two of them were penisless and the third was fine. The two unfaithful ministers were immediately executed. The king praised the third minister for his loyalty and asked him what he wished. "Aaaah, aaaaaaaaah," he replied.
Vote: has 74.20 % from 146 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, political, sex
Q: What do you call a Republican politician who hasn't been connected to a gay sex scandal? A: Due.
Vote: has 51.70 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: gay, political, republican, sex
Q: What' is Hillary Clinton favorite movies? A: Kill BILL 1 and 2.
Vote: has 51.61 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, death, marriage, political, sex
Abraham Lincoln can finish a play better than the 2013 Broncos.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, life, political
A man returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this prognosis, the man asks his wife for sex. Naturally, she agrees, and they make love. About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, "Honey,you know I now have only 18 hours to live. Could we please do it one more time?" Of course, the wife agrees, and they do it again. Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realizes that he now has only 8 hours left. He touches his wife shoulder, and asks, "Honey, please...just one more time before die." She says, "Of course, Dear," and they make love for the third time. After this session, the wife rolls over and falls asleep. The man, however, worried about his impending death, tosses and turns, until he's down to 4 more hours. He taps his wife, who rouses. "Honey, I have only 4 more hours. Do you think we could..." At this point the wife sits up and says,"Listen, I have to get up in the morning. You don't!"
Vote: has 78.90 % from 614 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
While walking along a beach, a man finds a lamp and rubs it off. A genie appears and offers to grant the man one wish. The man replys, "What about three?" The genie retorts " Look pal, I'm in a hurry, I've been cooped up in that damn lamp for. . ." "OK, alright" the guy responds. "Tell you what, I'm tired of paying for airplane tickets to Hawaii. I'd like you to build a bridge from California to Hawaii." This pisses the genie off. He screams, "Hey, this isn't the movies. Your wish has to be practical." "Do you know the engineering it would take to design that, the materials it would take, you'd have to compensate for plate techtonics, the continental shelf. . ." "Geez" the guy responds, "Well, I'd really like to understand women." The genie responds "Did you want two lanes or four?"
Vote: has 74.50 % from 768 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: airplane, genie, sex, women
The winner of tonight's election is the Voyager space probe which is currently traveling at 62,137 km per hour away from the Earth into interstellar space.
Vote: has 81.36 % from 72 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: political, travel
Three boys walk through the woods and suddenly hear cries for help. They follow the sound to the lake and see George W. Bush drowning. The boys jump into the water and drag him to shore. Bush asks the boys how he can repay them. The first boy says, "I want a boat." The second boy says, "I want a truck." The third boy says, "I want a nice tombstone." Bush asks, "Why is that?" The boy says, "Because when my dad finds out I helped save you, he's going to kill me."
Vote: has 81.95 % from 95 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, death, life, political
What’s a man’s ultimate embarrassment? Walking into a wall with an erection and hurting his nose.
Vote: has 69.50 % from 206 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex