Joke #6876

A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: “We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods.” The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, “I sure wish I’d gotten to know you sooner!”
Vote:
has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: old people

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

In order to help jump-start the U.S. economy, the INS has announced that this year they will stop focusing on illegal aliens, and begin the deportation of retired people. It's predicted that this will not only help lower health care entitlement costs, but it turns out that retirees are much easier to catch. Plus, they rarely can remember how to get back home.
Vote:
has 68.42 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: black humor, geography, memory, money, old people
A couple of senior couples were strolling along, wives in front, husbands in back chatting. Bernie turns to Marv and says, "Ya know, we went to a new restaurant last night and had the best meal ever. Great prices, too." Marv smiles and says, "Well, we like to eat out too. So what was the name of this fine new eatery?" Bernie says, "You’re going to have to help me out here a little. What’s the name of that pretty flower, smells sweet, often red, grows on a thorny bush?" Marv grins again, "Well now, Bernie, sounds like a rose to me…" "Yes, yes, that’s it!" cries Bernie, then he calls ahead to his wife: "Rose! Rose, honey, what was the name of that little restaurant we ate at last night?"
Vote:
has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: age, couple, husband, old people
A trio of old veterans were bragging about the heroic exploits of their ancestors one afternoon down at the VFW hall. “My great grandfather, at age 13,” one declared proudly, “was a drummer boy at Shiloh.” “Mine,” boasts another, “went down with Custer at the Battle of Little Big Horn.” “I’m the only soldier in my family,” confessed vet number three, “but if my great grandfather was living today he’d be the most famous man in the world.” “Really? What’d he do?” his friends wanted to know. “Nothing much. But he would be 165 years old.”
Vote:
has 34.72 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: age, old people
Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring? He decided to stick it out for one more year!
Vote:
has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: old people
Doctor: "Sir, I have some bad news; you have been diagnosed with cancer and Alzheimers." Old man: "Well, at least I don't have cancer!"
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: health, old people
Did you hear Cher is joining the spice girls? They're going to call her Old Spice.
Vote:
has 54.89 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: age, dirty, music, old people
Nurse: "We need a stool sample and a urine sample." Old man to his wife: "What did she say?" Wife to husband: "They want your underwear."
Vote:
has 63.45 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: doctor, husband, nurse, old people, wife
Old man: "Can you give me an erection?" Faith Healer: "I can make the blind see, make the lame walk and I can even cure cancer. But, I'm sorry I cannot raise the 'dead'."
Vote:
has 76.45 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: age, black humor, death, old people
A man was telling his neighbor, “I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.” “Really,” answered the neighbor. “What kind is it?” “Twelve thirty.”
Vote:
has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: money, old people, time
Your mama so old she still owes Jesus five bucks.
Vote:
has 39.21 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: age, christian, money, old people, Yo mama