Joke #7028

In Noah’s ark, on day 3 the animals could no longer hold their sexual desire, so they started having sex with one another. But Noah got really angry cause the Ark started shaking dangerously and he decided that it was time to put things in order. So he ordered that every male should get a card stating the name of his wife and the days they were allowed to mate. So they did… After a couple of days, during breakfast in the Ark’s cafeteria the monkey said to his wife: "You’ d better get ready ‘cause next Tuesday you’ll suffer cruelly!" The female monkey felt really ashamed because all of the animals heard her husband… The day after, the male monkey said to his wife again: "You’ d better get ready ‘cause next Tuesday you’ll suffer cruelly!" The female monkey feeling really confused, told Noah what had happened, so Noah called the male monkey in his office and asked for an explanation. “You kinky monkey! Why do you insist on disgracing your wife in front of all the other animals?” said Noah “I am not kinky sir”, said the monkey “I’m just warning her because I lost my card at a poker game and now the elephant has it…”
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has 77.06 % from 165 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant, sex, wife

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A man takes his wife to the stock show. They start heading down the alley that had the bulls. They come up to the first bull and his sign stated: “This bull mated 50 times last year.” The wife turns to her husband and says, “He mated 50 times in a year, you could learn from him.” They proceed to the next bull and his sign stated: “This bull mated 65 times last year.” The wife turns to her husband and says, “This one mated 65 times last year. That is over 5 times a month. You can learn from this one, also.” They proceeded to the last bull and his sign said: “This bull mated 365 times last year.” The wife’s mouth drops open and says, “WOW! He mated 365 times last year. That is ONCE A DAY! You could really learn from this one.” The man turns to his wife and says, “Go up and see if it was 365 times with the same cow.”
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has 86.24 % from 126 votes. More jokes about: animal, time, wife
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has 85.29 % from 1269 votes. More jokes about: beer, dirty, fish, sex, wife
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has 84.89 % from 1179 votes. More jokes about: husband, life, marriage, sex, wife
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has 84.72 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: animal, drunk, mean, vulgar, wife
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has 84.51 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, wife
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has 83.56 % from 1012 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, sex, wife
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has 83.33 % from 125 votes. More jokes about: marriage, sex, wife