Joke #7093

Q: Why are men like diapers? A: They are always on your ass and full of sh*t, and thankfully, they're disposable.

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."

LaShaunda had just given birth to a daughter and discussed possible names with her hospital roommate, LaQoowanga. LaShwanda mentioned a name she had heard in the doctor's office, "Vagina". When the hospital personnel asked her what name to put on the birth certificate, LaShaunda said "Vagina". "You can't name your baby that!" "Don't disrespect me! I be her mama. I can names her anything I want." When the hospital person tried to explained what the name meant, LaShaunda said, "No, No! that's a cootchie!"

What's gross? Farting in the bathtub. What's grosser than that? Catching the bubbles with your teeth.

Michael: "What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?" Matthew: "I don't know. What?" Michael: "Candy corneas."

I hope the children will never find out why I say "oops..." so often when I vacuum their rooms.

Little Johnny: "I've piss may I go out?" Teacher : "Piss is an impolite word instead you say I've number 1." Jimmy: "May I go out? I want to shit." Teacher: "Shit is also a bad word it is better to use number 2 instead." Ronald: "There is a wind in my belly give me please a number for it."

What’s harder to do than nailing a baby to a tree? Nailing it to a dead puppy.

What's grosser than gross? A bloody mary with curly, brittle hairs in it!

Q: How do you know a gay guy has farted? A: He needs to change his pants afterward.

Q: What do you give an elephant with diarrhea? A: Lots of room.