Joke #7186

A Jehovah's Witnesses knocked on my door yesterday, so I answered it and asked if he wanted to come in he said, "Yeah, okay." I said I'm just making a cup of tea do you want one? He said, "Yeah, sure." I said I've just made some toast do you want a slice? He said, "Yeah, why not." I then he sat down and I asked him, "So what now?" He said, "I don't know I've never got this far before!"
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John was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about himself, when a nun suddenly appears at his table and starts decrying the evils of drink. "You should be ashamed of yourself young man! Drinking is a Sin! Alcohol is the blood of the devil!" Now John gets pretty annoyed about this, and goes on the offensive. "How do you know this, Sister?" "My Mother Superior told me so." "But have you ever had a drink yourself? How can you be sure that what you are saying is right?" "Don't be ridiculous--of course I have never taken alcohol myself" "Then let me buy you a drink - if you still believe afterwards that it is evil I will give up drink for life" "How could I, a Nun, sit outside this public house drinking?!" "I'll get the barman to put it in a teacup for you, then no one will ever know." The Nun reluctantly agrees, so John goes inside to the bar. "Another pint for me, and a triple vodka on the rocks", then he lowers his voice and says to the barman "and could you put the vodka in a teacup?" "Oh no! It's not that Nun again is it?"
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What is Jehovah's wiseness favorite band? The Doors.
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Religion is a lot more like politics. The only difference is that with religion you get to confess your own sins.
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The November 5th Gunpowder Plot has been described as the 9/11 of its day. Staged by the government to discredit an entire religion.
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Man: You've brought religion into my life. Woman: Really? How? Man: Until I met you, I didn't believe in Hell.
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My grandfather once told me "your generation is too reliant on technology." So I replied "no, your generation is too reliant on technology!" Then I disconnected his life support.
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Ignorance can be educated. Crazy can be medicated. But there is no cure for stupidity...
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My wife's cooking is so bad we usually pray after our food.
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