Q: Did you hear about the depressed proctologist? A: He's been feeling down in the dumps.
Q: What compliment do you NOT want from a midget? A: Wow! Your hair smells good!
A guy admired the hair of three girls. He walked by one and asked, "How'd you get such lovely blonde hair" Taking her hand and gently running it through her hair, the girl answered, "It's natural." The guy walked by the second girl and asked, "How'd you get such pretty brown hair?" Fluffing her hair, the second girl said, "It's natural." Finally the guy approached the third girl and asked, "How'd you get such cool green hair?" Taking her hand and rubbing it up past her nose, then skimming it through the hair, she said, "It's natural."
There was a horny young lady named Lil, Who fucked dynamite sticks for a thrill. They found her vagina In North Carolina And bits of her tits in Brazil!
An Ohio State University mortician student walked into the embalming room where a cadaver was lying on the table. Confident that he knew enough now to begin the procedure without his instructor, he began to examine the body. When he rolled it over, he was shocked to see a cork in the man's butt. Mystified, he pulled it out and immediately heard the University of Michigan fight song come out of the guy's butt. Shaken by what had happened, he quickly shoved the cork back into it's original resting place. He then ran to get his instructor, nervously shouting, "Sir, you must come, you won't believe what I discovered!" Annoyed by the interruption, the professor said, "Let's take a look at this astounding discovery." When they entered the morgue, the teacher was also surprised to see the cork, so he approached the table and promptly removed the cork. Upon hearing the University of Michigan fight song, he quickly replaced the cork in the cadaver's butt and said, "What's so surprising about that? I've heard thousands of assholes sing that song!"
A man working with an electric saw accidentally saws off all 10 fingers. He rushes to the emergency room. The doctor says, "Give me the fingers and I'll see what I can do." "But I don't have the fingers!" "Why didn't you bring the fingers?!" asks the incredulous doctor. "Doc, I couldn't pick them up."
What is the differance between a dead baby and a VHS tape? The VHS tape don't stink when you leave it out in the sun.
Yo mama's lips are so big when you smile you wet your hair.
Q: What's the difference between an epyleptic oyster shucker and a prostitute with diahrrea? A: One shucks between fits.
Q: Why did Captain Kirk piss on the roof of the Enterprise? A: To boldly go where no man has gone before.
What's the difference between a baby and a grandmother? Grandmothers don't die when you fuck them up the ass.