Joke #7490

My memory has gotten so bad it has actually caused me to lose my job. I'm still employed. I just can't remember where.
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has 80.30 % from 129 votes. More jokes about: geography, memory, work

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The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and tells whether you are qualified to be a "manager". The questions are not that difficult. 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way. 2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? Wrong Answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant and close the refrigerator. Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your actions. 3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend except one. Which animal doesn't attend? Correct Answer: The Elephant. The Elephant is in the refrigerator. This tests your memory. OK, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your abilities. 4. There is a river you must cross. But it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it? Correct Answer: You swim across. All the Crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting! This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes. According to Andersen Consulting World wide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong. But many pre-schoolers got several correct answers. Andersen Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most management consultants have the brains of a four-year-old.
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has 80.00 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: age, animal, management, memory, work
In order to help jump-start the U.S. economy, the INS has announced that this year they will stop focusing on illegal aliens, and begin the deportation of retired people. It's predicted that this will not only help lower health care entitlement costs, but it turns out that retirees are much easier to catch. Plus, they rarely can remember how to get back home.
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has 76.27 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: black humor, geography, memory, money, old people
Hardest job in the world: police sketch artist in China.
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has 75.49 % from 343 votes. More jokes about: asian, cop, geography, work
During a break on a North Dakota office building project, one of the construction workers approached Pyle. "Ah heard the boys is gonna strike," he said. "What fer?" asked Pyle. "Shorter hours." "Good fer them!" said the redneck. "Ah always did think sixty minutes was too long fer an hour!"
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has 70.92 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: geography, office, redneck, stupid, work
Man visits India and meets an old man in the town square who is renowned for his elephantine memory. He asks the old man what he had for breakfast on the same day 15 years back. "Eggs," replies the old man, the man scoffs at this saying everyone has eggs for breakfast and walks away. Ten years later he returns to India and sees the same old man on the same spot, goes to him and asks, "How?" The old man takes one look at his face and replies, "Scrambled."
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has 70.75 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: age, elephant, football, geography, memory
There's a rumor that Steve Jobs, has been a Buddhist, has been reincarnated as a factory worker on a sweatshop assembly line in China.
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has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, geography, life, technology, work
God tried to make everyone different. He got bored by the time he got to China.
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has 67.89 % from 116 votes. More jokes about: asian, geography, god, work
I remember my guidance counselor. The guy studied for years for his job, and deepest thing he ever said to me was, "You have your whole life ahead of you."
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: graduation, memory, student, time, work
How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb? Four. One to hold the bulb, and three to try and remember the combination.
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: light bulb, memory, money, work
Police Officer says "We'll never forget 9/11..." In my mind: "I hope not It's your damn number!"
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has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: cop, history, memory, phone, stupid