Joke #7490

My memory has gotten so bad it has actually caused me to lose my job. I'm still employed. I just can't remember where.
Vote:
has 79.70 % from 125 votes. More jokes about: geography, memory, work

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and tells whether you are qualified to be a "manager". The questions are not that difficult. 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way. 2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? Wrong Answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant and close the refrigerator. Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your actions. 3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend except one. Which animal doesn't attend? Correct Answer: The Elephant. The Elephant is in the refrigerator. This tests your memory. OK, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your abilities. 4. There is a river you must cross. But it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it? Correct Answer: You swim across. All the Crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting! This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes. According to Andersen Consulting World wide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong. But many pre-schoolers got several correct answers. Andersen Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most management consultants have the brains of a four-year-old.
Vote:
has 80.43 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: age, animal, management, memory, work
In order to help jump-start the U.S. economy, the INS has announced that this year they will stop focusing on illegal aliens, and begin the deportation of retired people. It's predicted that this will not only help lower health care entitlement costs, but it turns out that retirees are much easier to catch. Plus, they rarely can remember how to get back home.
Vote:
has 78.01 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: black humor, geography, memory, money, old people
During a break on a North Dakota office building project, one of the construction workers approached Pyle. "Ah heard the boys is gonna strike," he said. "What fer?" asked Pyle. "Shorter hours." "Good fer them!" said the redneck. "Ah always did think sixty minutes was too long fer an hour!"
Vote:
has 76.80 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: geography, office, redneck, stupid, work
Hardest job in the world: police sketch artist in China.
Vote:
has 75.45 % from 258 votes. More jokes about: asian, cop, geography, work
There's a rumor that Steve Jobs, has been a Buddhist, has been reincarnated as a factory worker on a sweatshop assembly line in China.
Vote:
has 73.89 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, geography, life, technology, work
Man visits India and meets an old man in the town square who is renowned for his elephantine memory. He asks the old man what he had for breakfast on the same day 15 years back. "Eggs," replies the old man, the man scoffs at this saying everyone has eggs for breakfast and walks away. Ten years later he returns to India and sees the same old man on the same spot, goes to him and asks, "How?" The old man takes one look at his face and replies, "Scrambled."
Vote:
has 73.01 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: age, elephant, football, geography, memory
God tried to make everyone different. He got bored by the time he got to China.
Vote:
has 67.76 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: asian, geography, god, work
I remember my guidance counselor. The guy studied for years for his job, and deepest thing he ever said to me was, "You have your whole life ahead of you."
Vote:
has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: graduation, memory, student, time, work
An accountant and a lawyer were laying on a beach in Hawaii sipping mai tai's. The lawyer started telling the accountant how he came to be there. "I had this downtown property in Memphis that caught fire and after the insurance paid off, I came here." The accountant said, "I had a downtown property, too, in Miami. It got flooded so here I am with the insurance proceeds." The lawyer took another sip of his mai tai, and then asked in a puzzled voice, "How do you start a flood?"
Vote:
has 76.27 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: accountant, geography, lawyer
Did you know you can download the whole Tyson-Holyfield fight off the internet? It doesn’t take much memory – just two Bytes.
Vote:
has 18.30 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: IT, memory, sport, technology