Joke #758

Boy: I would go to the end of the world for you! Girl: yes, but would you stay there….
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has 32.63 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: marriage, relationship

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We are already 2 years together with my girlfriend and decided to get married. My parents helped as much as they could and all my my friends said it’s a really good idea! My girlfriend? She is a dream! But there is something that bothers me! This something is her little sister… This is my future 20 years old sister-in-law , wearing a super skinny, mini skirts and short blouses. Always lean ahead and I was often lucky to see her underwear. She never did that in front of someone else! One day she calls me and asks me to go home to see the wedding invitations. When I arrived she was alone. She whispered that soon I get married and that she has feelings for me for long time and that she thinks she cann’t overcome them. She also said that she desperately wanted to have sex with me just once before I marry her sister. I was shocked and could not say a word… She said to me that she goes to bed and asked if I wanted to go up with her. I froze and looked at her going up the stairs. Going up, she took her panties off and threw it at me. I stayed there for a moment and then ran to the door. I opened it and I walked to the car. My future father-in-law was standing outside with tears in his eyes, hugged me and said: "I’m glad you passed this little test and I am sure that my daughter could not find a better man. Welcome to the family, my son!" Moral Lesson: Always keep your condoms in your car!
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has 84.96 % from 866 votes. More jokes about: car, family, marriage, men, relationship
“A happy marriage is nothing but a give and take relationship; the husband gives and the wife takes.”
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has 84.72 % from 236 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, relationship, wife
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.   After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish. Happy Valentine's Day.
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has 56.92 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: marriage, relationship, Valentines day
If I've invested precious time and energy in a relationship, and I've been honest and open, hanging and coping, true blue, a good screw, to some fly guy who's out constantly getting high, then I'm dumped suicide is not one of my thoughts. I'm thinking maybe homicide.
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has 41.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: marriage, relationship, time
Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: NO! Don’t even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of course! Over and over! Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: NO! Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get! Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Are you crazy! I’m not that kind of person! Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling!
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has 31.64 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: love, marriage, relationship
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
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has 85.82 % from 561 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Wife:"I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?" Husband:"You have perfect eyesight."
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has 60.26 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: marriage
My ex-girlfriend loves the heat. She has a nostalgia for hell.
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has 79.35 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: love, mean, relationship
At the court of a small provincial town, a lawyer calls his first witness, an old woman around 80 and he asks her with a professional style: "Do you know me, Mrs. Rowland?" "Of course, I know you Mr. Smith! says the old woman. I know you since you were little, and I have to confess that I am very disappointed in you. You lie, you cheat on your wife repeatedly, you gossip about your clients. Of course, I know you!" Speechless, by the unexpected answer, the lawyer points with his finger on the other side of the court room and says: "Do you know the defense lawyer?" "Oh, yes! I know Mr. Soft as well. I was holding him in my arms when he was a baby, and I can say that I am disappointed in him, too. He’s a drunk and a gamester. He finds it hard to develop a normal relationship with anyone and he is one of the worst lawyers of our town!" At that point, the Chairman interrupts the process and demands from the two lawyers to approach the bench. When they do, he bends over and whispers to them: "If any of you jerks, asks if she knows me, you’re screwed!"
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has 75.48 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: dirty, drunk, lawyer, relationship, wife
One man's marriage has gotten a bit dull, so he asks a friend if he has any ideas on how to add some excitement back to the marriage. "Well," his friend says, "you can always have an affair." "I can't do that! I will always be faithful to her." the troubled man replies. "If you convince her to let you do it, and then it won't be cheating." The man agrees to give it a try. The next time his wife seems to be in a very good mood he shares the idea with her that a new partner would add excitement. "Honey," his wife says, "that won't help our marriage. Believe me, I already tried it."
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has 51.87 % from 116 votes. More jokes about: marriage, wife