Joke #758

Boy: I would go to the end of the world for you! Girl: yes, but would you stay there….
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We are already 2 years together with my girlfriend and decided to get married. My parents helped as much as they could and all my my friends said it’s a really good idea! My girlfriend? She is a dream! But there is something that bothers me! This something is her little sister… This is my future 20 years old sister-in-law , wearing a super skinny, mini skirts and short blouses. Always lean ahead and I was often lucky to see her underwear. She never did that in front of someone else! One day she calls me and asks me to go home to see the wedding invitations. When I arrived she was alone. She whispered that soon I get married and that she has feelings for me for long time and that she thinks she cann’t overcome them. She also said that she desperately wanted to have sex with me just once before I marry her sister. I was shocked and could not say a word… She said to me that she goes to bed and asked if I wanted to go up with her. I froze and looked at her going up the stairs. Going up, she took her panties off and threw it at me. I stayed there for a moment and then ran to the door. I opened it and I walked to the car. My future father-in-law was standing outside with tears in his eyes, hugged me and said: "I’m glad you passed this little test and I am sure that my daughter could not find a better man. Welcome to the family, my son!" Moral Lesson: Always keep your condoms in your car!
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“A happy marriage is nothing but a give and take relationship; the husband gives and the wife takes.”
Vote: has 87.48 % from 206 votes. Send joke:

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Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.   After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish. Happy Valentine's Day.
Vote: has 55.87 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

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If I've invested precious time and energy in a relationship, and I've been honest and open, hanging and coping, true blue, a good screw, to some fly guy who's out constantly getting high, then I'm dumped suicide is not one of my thoughts. I'm thinking maybe homicide.
Vote: has 39.39 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

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Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: NO! Don’t even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of course! Over and over! Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: NO! Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get! Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Are you crazy! I’m not that kind of person! Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling!
Vote: has 30.94 % from 70 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? A: They already have boyfriends.
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What is the difference between marriage and death? Dead people are free.
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Marriage is spending the rest of you life with someone you want to kill and not doing it because you'd miss them.
Vote: has 87.34 % from 185 votes. Send joke:

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Q: How can you tell if a University of Tennessee football player is married? A: There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup truck.
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Why can't single women fart? They don't get an asshole till they get married.
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

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