Joke #7777

When you're neckin' with yer honey And your nose is kinda runny You might think it's funny... But it's not.

Q. What do you call two lesbians with their period? A. Finger painting.

What's better than 10 dead babies in 1 bag? 1 dead baby in 10 bags.

Q: How do you know you're in a vampire bar? A: There's a string hanging out of your Bloody Mary.

3 bums were outside a bar. The first one went in and asked for a fork. The second one went in and also asked for a fork. Then the third one went in and wanted a straw. At this point, the bartender became curious. "How come all your friends want forks and you want a straw?" "Well," the bum said, "the dog threw up and the chunks are all gone."

Q: Why is diarrhea hereditary? A: It runs in your genes.

In the year 3000, animals rule the Earth; they talk and drive sportscars. An owl enters a psychologist's office. The psychologist says to the owl, "What is your problem?" The owl replies, "I always sleep at night and am awake during the day. I am an owl and we usually are awake during the night." The psychologist tells the owl to come back in two days to solve his problem, as he is very busy. The next night, a cat comes in. He says, "I always sleep during the day. Like my friends, I want to sleep during the night. Can you help?" The psychologist advises the cat to come back in one day, as he is very busy. The next day, the cat comes very, very, very early for his appointment and ends up at the same time as the owl. The cat is told to wait outside. He peeks in the owl's appointment and figures out his problem... and his address! During the next evening, when the owl usually comes in for his appointment, the cat comes in. The psychologist asks the cat why he is here instead of the owl. The cat replies, "He is here!" and poops on the floor, explaining, "I was sent to deliver him."

What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? See ya next month.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

Q: What's red, sits in front of a mirror, and gets smaller and smaller? A: A vain idiot combing his hair with a potato peeler.

What's green and sits in the corner? That same baby three weeks later.