Joke #7918

Why is a woman different from a PC? A woman won't accept a 3½" floppy.
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has 73.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: computer, women

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I like my women how I like my laptop. Sat on my lap, turned on & completely virus free.
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has 75.57 % from 205 votes. More jokes about: computer, dirty, women
Womens are like computer virus... they ENTER your life... SEARCH your pocket... SHIFT your balance ... CONTROL your life... when you become an old version DELET you from the system
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has 64.93 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT, life, money, women
A man works in the operations department of a large bank. Employees call him from the field when they have problems with their computers. One night a blonde woman from a branch bank called him and said, "I've got smoke coming from the back of my computer terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde, computer, stupid, technology, work
Question: How can you tell if your wife is dead? Answer: The sex will be the same but the dishes will pile up.
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has 61.43 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: death, sex, wife, women
A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero" The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week." The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want." Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The man said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."
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has 85.42 % from 402 votes. More jokes about: animal, beauty, computer, IT, programmer
On a farm out in the country lived a man and a woman and their three sons. Early one morning, the woman awoke, and while looking out of the window onto to the pasture, she saw that the family’s only cow was lying dead in the field. The situation looked hopeless to her-how could she possibly continue to feed her family now? In a depressed state of mind, she hung herself. When the man awoke to find his wife dead, as well as the cow, he too began to see the hopelessness of the situation, and he shot himself in the head. Now the oldest son woke up to discover his parents dead (and the cow!), and he decided to go down to the river and drown himself. When he got to the river, he discovered a mermaid sitting on the bank. She said,”I’ve seen all and know the reason for your despair. But if you will have sex with me five times in a row, then I will restore your parents and the cow to you.” The son agreed to try, but after four times, he was simply unable to get it up again. So the mermaid drowned him in the river. Next the second oldest son woke up. After discovering what had happened, he too decided to throw himself into the river. The mermaid said to him, “If you will have sex with me ten times in a row, then I will make everything right.” And while the son tried his best (seven times!), it was not enough to satisfy the mermaid, so she drowned him in the river. The youngest son woke up and saw his parents dead, the dead cow in the field, and his brothers gone. He decided that life was a hopeless prospect, and he went down to the river to throw himself in. And there he also met the mermaid. “I have seen all that has happened, and I can make everything right if you will only have sex with me fifteen times in a row.” The young son replied, “Is that all? Why not twenty times in a row?” The mermaid was somewhat taken aback by this request. Then he said, “Hell, why not twenty-five times in a row?” And even as she was reluctantly agreeing to his request, he said, “Why not THIRTY times in a row?” Finally, she said, “Enough!! Okay, if you will have sex with me thirty times in a row, then I will bring everybody back to perfect health.” Then the young son asked, “Wait! How do I know that thirty times in a row won’t kill you like it did the cow?”
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has 84.96 % from 441 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, family, kids, women
A young woman was having a physical examination and was very embarrassed because of a weight problem. As she removed her last bit of clothing, she blushed. "I'm so ashamed, and dirty Doctor," she said, "I guess I let myself go." The physician was checking hers eyes and ears. "Don't feel ashamed, Miss. You don't look that bad." "Do you really think so, Doctor?" she asked. The doctor held a tongue depressor in front of her face and said, "Of course. Now just open your mouth and say moo."
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has 32.93 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, doctor, women
I dont understand why people say sex is good in the shower. How do you guys not get your laptop wet?
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has 62.82 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: computer, disgusting, sex
The stock market really plummeted today, but luckily there is a computer chip that is used to turn off the board if it gets too low. The Cubs have the same chip in there scoreboard.
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has 17.55 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: computer, sport
How many men does it take to please a woman. Impossible. Once a woman's done bitching about the men they're all asleep.
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has 29.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: women