Joke #9175

Growing up, Samuel L. Jackson didn't have a mother and a father. He had a mother and a motherf*cker.
Vote: has 36.09 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: celebrity, family, life

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his bestfriend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.
Vote: has 85.36 % from 2408 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, family, life, sex
Saying the same thing over and over again but expecting different results is called parenting.
Vote: has 84.30 % from 70 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, family, kids, life
Son - "Dad whats the difference between confident and confidential?" Dad - "Hmm. You are my son. Of that I am confident. Your friend Timmy is also my son. That's confidential."
Vote: has 83.97 % from 196 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, family, life
Q: What is a difference between "accident " and "tragedy"? A: Suppose you with the family are beside a pool. You suddenly push your mother in law into the pool - so it's an accident. If she could swim and gets out, in that case, it's a tragedy!
Vote: has 83.64 % from 142 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: family, life, mean, mother in law
The Pope and Nancy Pelosi are on stage in front of a huge crowd. The Pope leaned towards Mrs. Pelosi and said, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!" Pelosi replied, "I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!" So the Pope slapped her.
Vote: has 83.60 % from 90 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: celebrity, life
Police: Where do u live? Me: With my parents. Police: Where does ur parents live? Me: With me. Police: Where do u all live? Me: Together. Police: Where is ur house? Me: Next to my neighbors house. Police: Where is your neighbors house? Me: If i tell you u wont believe me. Police: Tell me Me: Next to my house...
Vote: has 83.25 % from 208 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cop, family, life
Things our family enjoys together without anyone complaining: 1.
Vote: has 82.02 % from 46 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: family, life
When Miley Cyrus is naked and licks a hammer it's "art" and "music"... but when I do it, I'm "wasted" and "have to leave Home Depot".
Vote: has 81.99 % from 161 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: celebrity, life, music
Three boys walk through the woods and suddenly hear cries for help. They follow the sound to the lake and see George W. Bush drowning. The boys jump into the water and drag him to shore. Bush asks the boys how he can repay them. The first boy says, "I want a boat." The second boy says, "I want a truck." The third boy says, "I want a nice tombstone." Bush asks, "Why is that?" The boy says, "Because when my dad finds out I helped save you, he's going to kill me."
Vote: has 81.89 % from 108 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: celebrity, death, life, political
A man met a wonderful woman and became engaged to her. He called his mother to share his good news with her. He arranged to have dinner with his mother that evening so that she could meet his fiancee. When he arrived at her home, he brought along three women - a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. His mother inquired as to why he had brought three women, instead of just one. He replied that he wanted to see if his mother would be able to guess which one of the women was her future daughter-in-law. She looked at each one carefully and then replied: "It's the redhead." "How could you possibly have figured that out so quickly?" he inquired. She coldly replied, "Because I can't stand her."
Vote: has 80.86 % from 43 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: family, life, mother in law, wedding, women