Joke #9175

Growing up, Samuel L. Jackson didn't have a mother and a father. He had a mother and a motherf*cker.
Vote: has 48.02 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, family, life

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

The Pope and Nancy Pelosi are on stage in front of a huge crowd. The Pope leaned towards Mrs. Pelosi and said, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!" Pelosi replied, "I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!" So the Pope slapped her.
Vote: has 86.07 % from 70 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, life
A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his bestfriend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.
Vote: has 85.93 % from 1964 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, family, life, sex
When Miley Cyrus is naked and licks a hammer it's "art" and "music"... but when I do it, I'm "wasted" and "have to leave Home Depot".
Vote: has 85.69 % from 138 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, life, music
Son - "Dad whats the difference between confident and confidential?" Dad - "Hmm. You are my son. Of that I am confident. Your friend Timmy is also my son. That's confidential."
Vote: has 85.16 % from 173 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, family, life
Taylor Swift waved at a boy yesterday and he didn't wave back... So she will have a new album coming out tomorrow.
Vote: has 83.36 % from 58 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, life, music
Police: Where do u live? Me: With my parents. Police: Where does ur parents live? Me: With me. Police: Where do u all live? Me: Together. Police: Where is ur house? Me: Next to my neighbors house. Police: Where is your neighbors house? Me: If i tell you u wont believe me. Police: Tell me Me: Next to my house...
Vote: has 83.29 % from 174 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, family, life
Things our family enjoys together without anyone complaining: 1.
Vote: has 83.08 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: family, life
Saying the same thing over and over again but expecting different results is called parenting.
Vote: has 82.31 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, family, kids, life
Three boys walk through the woods and suddenly hear cries for help. They follow the sound to the lake and see George W. Bush drowning. The boys jump into the water and drag him to shore. Bush asks the boys how he can repay them. The first boy says, "I want a boat." The second boy says, "I want a truck." The third boy says, "I want a nice tombstone." Bush asks, "Why is that?" The boy says, "Because when my dad finds out I helped save you, he's going to kill me."
Vote: has 81.95 % from 95 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, death, life, political
I watched Justin Bieber get shot in CSI and my brother asked "Why are you crying?" I said "Because he didn't die in real life"
Vote: has 81.11 % from 116 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, death, life, music