Joke #9654

Q: Why did the Avon lady walk funny? A: Her lipstick.
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Q: Have you tried Starbucks new hot beverage, Viagraccino? A: One cup and you're up all night.
Vote: has 83.96 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

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A woman goes to the gynecologist for the first time and is awfully nervous. When the doctor comes into the examining room, he notices immediately that she's very tense. "Listen, dear. I know this must be scary for you. Do you want me to give you some thing to numb you down there?" The girl doesn't say anything, but just nods her head yes. So the doctor removes her underwear, puts his mouth in her crotch. "Numb, numb, numb, numb, numb..."
Vote: has 64.52 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

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The proprietor of an adult store steps out to run a few errands and leaves his employee in charge. A woman comes in and wants to purchase a dildo. She looks at the shelf behind the register. "How much for the white one?" "$10." "How much for the black one?" "$20." She buys the white one. A little later , another woman comes in and also wants to buy a dildo. After asking the clerk for prices, she decides on the black one. A third lady comes in for a dildo. She checks the price of the white one , the black one and asks about the plaid one. She makes her purchase and leaves.The proprietor returns and asks how things went. "Great! I sold a white one, a black one, and I got thirty buck for your thermos!"
Vote: has 61.01 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

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I like my women how I like my laptop. Sat on my lap, turned on & completely virus free.
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Q: What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? A: They both have balls just for decoration.
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Q: What did the nut say to the bolt? A: Screw me.
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This couple were in bed getting busy when the girl places the guys hand onto her p*ssy. "Put your finger in me..." she asks him. So he does without hesitation, as she starts moaning. "Put two fingers in...", she says. So in goes another one. She's really starting to get worked up when she says,"Put your whole hand in!". The guy's like, "Ok!". So he has his entire hand in, when she says moaning aloud "Put both your hands inside of me!". So the guy puts both of his hands in! "Now clap your hands..." commands the girl. "I can't", says the guy. The girl looks at him and says "See, I told you I had a tight p*ssy!".
Vote: has 80.79 % from 114 votes. Send joke:

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One night a man and woman went to his house to have sex when he stopped her to say "I still live with my parents and me and my brother share bunk beds so if you want to change positions say "lettuce" and if you want to go faster say "tomatos" So they were getting it on and she was screaming "lettuce, lettuce, tomatos, lettuce, tomatos, tomatos" Suddenly the younger brother (on the bottom bunk) said "Could you stop making sandwiches your getting mayonase on me"!
Vote: has 56.81 % from 61 votes. Send joke:

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Q: When is the only time a guy can multi-task? A: When he's watching porn, masturbating, and keeping an eye on the door at the same time...
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Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man. But hell does that burn!
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