Joke #9654

Q: Why did the Avon lady walk funny? A: Her lipstick.

Q: What's long and hard and has cum in it? A: Cucumber, dirty people.

Dont you hate it when you open a bag of chips and its half full?! Yeah, that's how us guys feel about push-up bras!

Q: What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? A: Beat it. We're closed.

I like your style I like your class but most of all i like your ass.

How do you make a snooker table laugh. Put your hands in its pocket and tickle its balls.

Two nuns are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat runs up and flashes them. The first nun has a stroke. The second nun tried but she couldn't reach.

Q: What's the difference between jelly and jam? A: I can't jelly my dick a baby's throat.

A little old man who's hard of hearing goes to see the doctor. As he can't hear very well, he takes his wife with him. The doctor examines the man and then says, "Hmm, I think we need to take a stool sample, a urine sample and a sperm sample." The old man turns to his wife and asks, "What did he say?" The wife replies, "He said he wants your underwear."

There was a little boy sitting on a curb in one hand he had a cat and the other a box of smarties. Every so often he would pop a smartie bite the cat get up and move down to the curb. There is a man watching this young boy and wonders what he's doing once again the kid pops a smartie bites the cat gets up and moves down on the curb. So the man comes outside and yells to the boy but the boy ignores him and continues popping a smartie biting the cat and moving down the curb. Finally the man screams hey kid "what are you doing?" The boy looks back and says "who? me?" The man says "yes." The little boy responds "Well sir I'm playing trucker." The man confused says "What do you mean playing trucker." The little boy then says "Yes, playing trucker I'm popping pills, eating pussy and moving down the road."

Q: What do you call a man who run a cross the road and roll in the dirt then run back across? A: A double dirty crosser.