The best jokes about women

A woman is very overweight and goes to see a weight therapist. The woman asks for some good advices. The therapist answers like this: "Well you just need to turn your head to the right and to the left when someone asks you if you want to eat at McDonalds."

Q: What do women and airplanes have in common? A: They both have a cockpit.

I've spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer... but no one will do it.

If pretty women from the south are southern bells, would that make pretty women from Mexico taco bells?

Why do women make better soldiers? Because they can bleed for a week and not die.

One day in the city a bus driver was making his usual stops. At the first stop a woman came to the front of the bus to get off. She turned to the bus driver and said, "I think I was just molested back there." The bus driver looked at her and said, "Not on my bus. You couldn't have been." So, he lets her off and drives on. He comes to the next stop and another woman comes to the front to get off. She, too, looks at the bus driver and says, "I think I was just molested back there." Now the bus driver thinks that something has to be wrong, to get two complaints like this in one day is just unheard of. He gets up out of his seat and goes to the back of the bus. To his surprise there is a bald guy crawling on the floor on his hands and knees. The bus driver says, "Sir, what are you doing?" The man looks at him and says, "I lost my toupee. I thought I found it twice, but I lost it again."

Is Lady Gaga wonder woman because we all wonder if she's a woman?

My ex-wife is so thick, that it is for me, when we meet sometimes, easier to jump her over than to go around her.

Sex is when a guys communication, enters a girls information, to increase the population, for a younger generation, do you get the information... or do you need a demonstration.

A blonde and a redhead are taken hostage by terrorists. The women are taken to a remote island and put before a firing squad. Just before the squad fires, the redhead points and yells, "Tornado!" The terrorists run in all different directions, and the redhead escapes. When they realize what has happened, the terrorists come back to where the blonde is still standing. They raise their rifles, and thinking quickly, the blonde points and yells, "Fire!