In the beginning, God created Earth and then rested. After that, He creaed man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man got ever rested.
How are women and linoleum floors alike? You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years.
Q: What was the first word out of Adam's mouth when he first saw Eve? A: Whoa man! Thus, the word "woman" was created.
I like my women like my morning coffee, falling off the roof of my car as I peel out of a gas station parking lot.
A woman goes to a doctor, doctor, I'm tired of life, want to finish my life, what is best to kill myself? The doctor says: "Should yourself 5 cm under your breast, you will be dead!" 2 weeks later, woman back at doctors, what happened? I shot myself into my knee.
Boy will be boys but one day all girls will be women.
Q: Why did the girl spread peanut butter on the road? A: To go with the traffic jam!
Q: Why do horny women order at Subway? A: Footlongs.
A blonde and a redhead are taken hostage by terrorists. The women are taken to a remote island and put before a firing squad. Just before the squad fires, the redhead points and yells, "Tornado!" The terrorists run in all different directions, and the redhead escapes. When they realize what has happened, the terrorists come back to where the blonde is still standing. They raise their rifles, and thinking quickly, the blonde points and yells, "Fire!
On Sunday little Johnny with his dad went for bathing. The ground was slippery. So poor boy for avoiding of knocking down grabbed his father's penis. His father smiled and told him: "Oh boy you are lucky. If you were with your mother you were concussion!"