The best little Johnny jokes

The teacher asked little Johnny, “What’s two and two?”. He counted 1-2-3-4 on his fingers and said, “Four, teacher?”. She said, ” Yes, that’s right, but you counted on your fingers. Put your hands behind behind your back and tell me what’s three and three”. He put his hands behind his back, fumbled around, and answered, “Six, teacher?”. She said, “Yes, that’s right, but you’re still counting on your fingers. Put your hands in your pockets and tell me what’s five and five”. He put his hands in his pockets, fumbled around, and replied, “Eleven, teacher?”.
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More jokes about: little Johnny, math, teacher, time
Little Johnny came home after school: "Daddy, I have a bad grade in English language." "Why?" asked his father. "Well, the teacher asked us the following question: "Mary entered the forest with John and came out of the forest with Mike. What is Mary?" "How come what Mary is? A whore, of course," said the father. "That's what I said, but the teacher answered Mary was a subject."
Vote: has 75.58 % from 136 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, little Johnny, school
Sunday school teacher asked Little Johnny, "Do you believe in the Devil?" "No," said Little Johnny. "It's the same as Santa Claus. I know it's my daddy."
Vote: has 75.53 % from 191 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, little Johnny, Santa, school, teacher
Teacher: "Who can tell what is a mammal? Little Johnny: "My grand mother!"
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More jokes about: family, little Johnny, mean, old people, teacher
Teacher: "Four crows are on the fence. The farmer shoots one. How many are left?" Little Johnny: "None." Teacher: "Listen carefully: Four crows are on the fence. The farmer shoots one. How many are left?" Little Johnny: "None." Teacher: "Can you explain that answer?" Little Johnny: "One is shot, the others fly away. There are none left." Teacher: "Well, that isn't the correct answer, but I like the way you think." Little Johnny: "Teacher, can I ask a question?" Teacher: "Sure." Little Johnny: "There are three women in the ice cream parlor. One is licking, one is biting and one is sucking her ice cream cone. Which one is married?" Teacher: "The one sucking the cone." Little Johnny: "No. The one with the wedding ring on, but I like the way you think."
Vote: has 75.15 % from 188 votes. Send joke:

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A priest asks Johnny if he's scared of Satan. Little Johnny says "I have nothing to be scared of you are the one that must be scared; you talk crap about him every Sunday..."
Vote: has 74.94 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, little Johnny, priest, religious
Little Johnny: "Dad why your dick's hairs are black but the hairs of your head are are going to be white?" Dad: "My dear the first one is thinking but the second is enjoying."
Vote: has 74.71 % from 113 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, dirty, little Johnny, sex
Little Johnny comes home one day and says, "Mom! Little Mark next door has a penis like a peanut!" "What do you mean, Johnny? Is it shaped like a peanut?" "No," says Johnny. "It's salty."
Vote: has 74.64 % from 162 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, gay, little Johnny
"Mommy," Little Johnny asked, "do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time'?" "No, dear," she replied. "Sometimes they start with 'Darling, I'll be working late at the office tonight...'"
Vote: has 74.62 % from 245 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, office, work
Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence starting with ' I. ' Johnny: I is.. Teacher: No, that's not correct Johnny. You should always say, 'I am.' Johnny: Okay, 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
Vote: has 74.59 % from 508 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny