The best little Johnny jokes

During an English lesson, the teacher notices that a boy was not paying attention to him. Teacher asks, "Johnny, join these two sentences together. I was cycling to school. I saw a dead body." Little Johnny after thinking for a while says, "I saw a dead body cycling to school."
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has 74.35 % from 361 votes. More jokes about: death, little Johnny, school, teacher
Teacher: "Who can tell me 5 wild animals?" Little Johnny: "2 lions & 3 wolves."
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has 74.32 % from 173 votes. More jokes about: animal, kids, little Johnny, teacher
Sunday school teacher asked Little Johnny, "Do you believe in the Devil?" "No," said Little Johnny. "It's the same as Santa Claus. I know it's my daddy."
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has 73.95 % from 230 votes. More jokes about: dad, little Johnny, Santa, school, teacher
Teacher: "Who knows what is a difference between a snowman and snowwoman?" Little Johnny: "Three snowballs!"
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has 73.91 % from 140 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, little Johnny, teacher, winter
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself
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has 73.91 % from 200 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny
One day Little Johnny came home from school and asked his mom what they were having for dinner. She said that it was a surprise and him and his brother would have to guess what it is after they try it. Well dinner time came and they started eating it,but they couldn't figure out what it was. So Little Johnny asked his mom for a hint.She said,"Okay,I'll give you a hint. I call your father this."Little Johnny said to his brother,"Quick Bobby, spit it out,its asshole!"
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has 73.78 % from 241 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny
After the baby was baptized, her four-year-old brother was crying inconsolably in the back seat of the car. "What’s the matter Johnny?" asked his concerned mother. Johnny replied: "That man said that he hoped our baby would be raised in a good Christian home… I just want her to stay with you guys."
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has 73.75 % from 152 votes. More jokes about: baby, car, christian, little Johnny
Little Johnny came home after school: "Daddy, I have a bad grade in English language." "Why?" asked his father. "Well, the teacher asked us the following question: "Mary entered the forest with John and came out of the forest with Mike. What is Mary?" "How come what Mary is? A whore, of course," said the father. "That's what I said, but the teacher answered Mary was a subject."
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has 73.52 % from 176 votes. More jokes about: dad, little Johnny, school
Wanna hear a dirty joke? Little dirty Johnny took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear an even dirtier joke? Bubbles is the girl next door.
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has 73.50 % from 292 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny
A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?" Steven raised his hand and said, "He’s in heaven." Mary was called on and answered, "He’s in my heart." Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He’s in our bathroom!" The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. He finally gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this. And Little Johnny said, "Well… every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?'"
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has 73.22 % from 132 votes. More jokes about: god, little Johnny, school, student, teacher
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