The best little Johnny jokes

After Sunday school, the teacher released the kids to go to church and reminded them, "You all know to be very nice and quiet in the church. And why is that?"  Little Johnny offers, "Miss, it's so we wouldn't wake all those people sleeping."
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has 72.35 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, school, teacher
The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the country preacher talked at length of the good traits of the deceased, what an honest man he was, and what a loving husband and kind father he was. Finally, the widow leaned over and whispered to one of her children, "Go up there and take a look in the coffin and make sure that's your pa in there."
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has 72.29 % from 115 votes. More jokes about: cat, death, fish, funeral, little Johnny
Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the little girl was up to, he politely asked: "What are you up to there, Nancy?" "My goldfish died", replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him." The neighbor was concerned: "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" Nancy patted down the last heap of earth and then replied: "That's because he's inside your fucking cat."
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has 72.20 % from 219 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, death, fish, little Johnny
Little Johnny and Mary were standing at the beach in their bathing suits. Johnny says to Mary, hey you show me yours and I'll show you mine. Mary says ok, and drops her bathing suit the same time as Johnie. He look and gasps you don't got one of these, but Mary laughs and says Yea, but with one of these I can get as many of those I want.
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has 72.13 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: kids, little Johnny
An elementary school class goes on a field trip to the police station. The Officer points to the 10 MOST WANTED list and tells them that these are the most wanted fugitives in the USA. Little Boy says " He is the MOST WANTED in the USA?!" Officer says "Yes." Little Boy asks "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture.
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has 72.01 % from 178 votes. More jokes about: cop, little Johnny
Early one morning a mother went to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!" "Buy why, Mom? I don't want to go." "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go." "Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!" "Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready." "Give me two reasons why I *should* go to school." "Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the PRINCIPAL!"
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has 71.99 % from 349 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, school, student, teacher
Little Johnny's class is reviewing the alphabet. His teacher knows that he has an "advanced" vocabulary for his age, so she avoids calling on him. When the teacher asks for a word beginning with "A," Little Johnny raises his hand. The teacher anticipates he'll say, "ass" so she calls on Mary Lou, who says "apple." This continues because the teacher knows that Little Johnny knows a cuss word for every letter of the alphabet. Then she gets to "R." She can't think of any cuss words that begin with R, so she calls on Johnny. He exclaims, "R is for rats big f**king rats, with 12-inch c**ks!"
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has 71.97 % from 260 votes. More jokes about: age, animal, little Johnny, teacher
Little Johnny comes home one day and says, "Mom! Little Mark next door has a penis like a peanut!" "What do you mean, Johnny? Is it shaped like a peanut?" "No," says Johnny. "It's salty."
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has 71.57 % from 237 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, gay, little Johnny
Teacher: Why are you crawling into class, John? Littly Johny: You said, "Don't anyone dare walk into my class late!"
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has 71.38 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny
Little Johnny walked into the kitchen, saw his mother making a cake and announced, "I'm gonna go play in my room for a couple of hours. I sure would like a piece of cake after though! Later, when his mother brought him a piece of cake, Little Johnny exclaimed, "Wow!, it worked!" Puzzled, his mother asked, "What do you mean?" Little Johnny replied, "Daddy said that in order to get a piece around here, you have to spend a couple of hours playing first!"
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has 71.21 % from 169 votes. More jokes about: dad, little Johnny
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