The best little Johnny jokes

Little Johnny was a chemist. Little Johnny is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.
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has 49.42 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, death, little Johnny, stupid
One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked the class for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First, she called on Little Lisa, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it." "Very good, Lisa," replied the teacher. She then called on Little Tommy. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said. "Excellent, Michael!" Then, the teacher called on Little Johnny... Last night, during supper, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!"
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has 48.98 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: beauty, communication, family, little Johnny, teacher
Little Johnny returns from school and says: "Mam, in school we write dirty swear-words so often!" "But I hope you are not writing them, my son." "No, I'm dictating them!"
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: family, little Johnny, school
Teacher: "If you bought 8 hotdogs,9 cheese burgers and 7 fillet o fishes and you ate 8 hotdogs 9 cheese burger and 7 fillet o fish what do you have at the end?" Little Johnny: "A bad blatter issue."
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: fish, food, health, little Johnny, math
Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?"  Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"
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has 47.81 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: animal, Christmas, dog, food, little Johnny
Susie was having her monthly bleeding and she asked little johnny for his advice!! Little johnny Said Well i think i figured out ur problem!!!! SOME RIPPED OFF YOUR BALLS
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has 47.47 % from 195 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny
Johnny comes home from school and asks his mom what is a "period". His mom says that "A period is when a woman needs to realease her dead egg cells". Johnny asks what color is it. She says it's red. Johnny said "I have one of those but mine is white and it makes babies."
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has 47.05 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, little Johnny, school, women
The sexologist to Johny: "let´s talk about sex!" Johny: "I have no idea."
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has 46.87 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: communication, doctor, little Johnny, sex
Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "If I have 5 cookies, and I give you 2, how many cookies do I have left?" Little Johnny replies, "Zero, you're giving me more than just 3 cookies. I'm taking all 5 baby!" The teacher just facepalms herself. "I can strongly suggest that you work on your math skills Johnny." the teacher suggests. "Oh I know math, one man plus one girl, subtract a condom, equals a baby!" Little Johnny says.
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has 46.60 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, little Johnny, math, teacher
Johny is the first day in jail in the cell with one mighty and a crazy prisoner and this crazy prisoner tells Johny: "You probably do not know that on the first day must every new prisoner must pass over the so-called welcome´s ceremonial. Ok, so I ask you directly. Do you want it with cream or without the cream?" Johny says: "I want it with creme, of course." The crazy prisoner yells and says: "Cremo, come here, please."
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: dirty, gay, little Johnny, prison, sex
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