The best little Johnny jokes

Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?"  Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"
Vote: has 48.77 % from 70 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Christmas, dog, food, little Johnny
One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked the class for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First, she called on Little Lisa, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it." "Very good, Lisa," replied the teacher. She then called on Little Tommy. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said. "Excellent, Michael!" Then, the teacher called on Little Johnny... Last night, during supper, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!"
Vote: has 48.55 % from 110 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, communication, family, little Johnny, teacher
Susie was having her monthly bleeding and she asked little johnny for his advice!! Little johnny Said Well i think i figured out ur problem!!!! SOME RIPPED OFF YOUR BALLS
Vote: has 47.76 % from 186 votes. Send joke:

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Little Johnny was a chemist. Little Johnny is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.
Vote: has 47.05 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chemistry, death, little Johnny, stupid
Little Johnny took sex ed and every day when little Johnny would come in from school he'll tell his dad for learning sex ed well one day we'll just come in and he said that I got thrown out sex ed Lil Johnny's daddy says how do you get thrown out sex ed Little Johnny said well Dad I got in trouble for eating during class.
Vote: has 46.11 % from 60 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, food, little Johnny, school, sex
Teacher: "If you bought 8 hotdogs,9 cheese burgers and 7 fillet o fishes and you ate 8 hotdogs 9 cheese burger and 7 fillet o fish what do you have at the end?" Little Johnny: "A bad blatter issue."
Vote: has 45.82 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fish, food, health, little Johnny, math
Johnny comes home from school and asks his mom what is a "period". His mom says that "A period is when a woman needs to realease her dead egg cells". Johnny asks what color is it. She says it's red. Johnny said "I have one of those but mine is white and it makes babies."
Vote: has 45.60 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, dirty, little Johnny, school, women
"Johny, please, tell us, what do you do the whole day, so?" "So, in the morning I cut the wood, sometimes with both hands, 5 minutes a day I play the guitar, to tell the truth. And in the afternoon I go to my garden to water the flowers. The lilies of the valleys and may-flowers I water most likely. Yes, they are really cute. Then I tear the leaflets to find out if the neighbor (her husband is not at home) loves me or not. The last time it came out that she loves me, fuck."
Vote: has 43.90 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, little Johnny, love, music, time
Johnny Walks in his parents room finding his dad with his dick in his mom's pussy. Johnny asks his dad " Can realatives Have babies if they fuck?" "Of course not johnny" his dad replied. the very next day johnny was his room stuffing his dick in his 14 year old's pussy and humping her. "ohhhhh Johnny! Fuck Me Harder!" his sister yelled. I am! johnny said. then his sister gave johnny a blowjob to make his dick bigger. "Now I Can Fuck Better!" said Little Johnny. Then Johnny Fucked His Sister How He Saw His Dad Doing To His Mom. Then his parents came into his room and his mom saw his huge cock and said "Johnny That Sure Is Big! "Well Your Next Mom!" Johnny replied
Vote: has 41.40 % from 327 votes. Send joke:

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Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him. "So how was it?" his mother asked when they returned home. "Great," Little Johnny replied. "Did you and daddy have a good time?" asked his mother. "Yeah, daddy really liked it too," exclaimed Little Johnny, "especially when one of the animals came home at 30 to 1!"
Vote: has 40.57 % from 137 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dad, little Johnny