The best little Johnny jokes

Little Johnny walked into the house covered in filth. His mom asked, "Johnny, why do you always get so dirty?" Johnny replied, " I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are."
Vote: has 54.42 % from 123 votes. Send joke:
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Johnny, George, and Bert were driving along in their pickup when they saw a sheep caught in the fence with its hind end up in the air. Bert said, "I wish that was Sharon Stone." George echoed, "I wish it was Demi Moore." Little Johnny sighed, "I wish it was dark..."
Vote: has 54.41 % from 142 votes. Send joke:
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Little Johnny was watching TV with his mother. Johnny: "Why is this tampon commercial so long?" Mother: "This is my favorite show called 90210." Johnny: ...
Vote: has 53.07 % from 41 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, kids, little Johnny, time
A grade school teacher in Kentucky asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, "My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep It was fascinating." The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the word "fascinate, not fascinating". Sally raised her hand. She said, "My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated." The teacher said, "Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word "fascinate." Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word "fascinate", so she called on him. Johnny said, "My Aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her boobs are so big she can only fasten eight."
Vote: has 52.59 % from 111 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: little Johnny, student, teacher
Little Johnny's brother, Little Jimmy, was in the toilet throwing Johnny's toys in the toilet. Johnny saw his brother doing this and yelled "JIMMY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" His brother replied "Next time you'll think twice before you don't let me play with you." Little Jimmy threw a toy car in the toilet and said "Bye bye, racecars!" Little Johnny stuck little Jimmy head in the toilet saying "Bye bye brother!"
Vote: has 52.10 % from 52 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: family, game, kids, little Johnny, mean
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day and he really needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled, "Teacher, Teacher, I have to go pee pee!" The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, you should be old enough to know that this is not the proper word to use?" "The correct word would be urinate." "Now Johnny, would you please use the word urinate in a sentence?" Little Johnny thought for a moment then said:, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger boobs you'd be a ten!"
Vote: has 51.43 % from 126 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, communication, little Johnny, teacher
Johny is the first day in jail in the cell with one mighty and a crazy prisoner and this crazy prisoner tells Johny: "You probably do not know that on the first day must every new prisoner must pass over the so-called welcome´s ceremonial. Ok, so I ask you directly. Do you want it with cream or without the cream?" Johny says: "I want it with creme, of course." The crazy prisoner yells and says: "Cremo, come here, please."
Vote: has 50.70 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, gay, little Johnny, prison, sex
The sexologist to Johny: "let´s talk about sex!" Johny: "I have no idea."
Vote: has 49.93 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, doctor, little Johnny, sex
Little Johnny was a chemist. Little Johnny is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.
Vote: has 49.83 % from 65 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: chemistry, death, little Johnny, stupid
Little Johnny returns from school and says: "Mam, in school we write dirty swear-words so often!" "But I hope you are not writing them, my son." "No, I'm dictating them!"
Vote: has 49.30 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: family, little Johnny, school


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