The best old people jokes

What is so special about the retirement age? "It is the time when one acquires sufficient experience to lose one's job."
Vote: has 34.09 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, old people, work
A crocodile has 2 eyes and 80 teeth. Question: What has 80 eyes and 2 teeth? Answer: A full bus of old men.
Vote: has 33.22 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, animal, old people
Old doctors never die, they just lose their patience.
Vote: has 32.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, old people
As my grandmother and I were walking towards the United Nations Building in New York City, we came upon a street evangelist who was trying to get the attention of passersby. He urged those near him to flee from the wrath to come. “I warn you,” he roared, “that there will be weeping, and wailing, and gnashing of teeth!” An old woman in the crowd shouted snidely: “Sir, I have no teeth!” “Lady,” the evangelist retorted, “teeth will be provided!”
Vote: has 31.97 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: old people
Two old ladies are in a restaurant. One complains, "You know, the food here is just terrible." The other shakes her head and adds, "And such small portions."
Vote: has 28.48 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, old people
"But my elderly aunt was considered a highly respectable spinster!" the society matron protested. "Can't you find some way to cover up the shocking fact that she died in bed while being simultaneously serviced by two paid studs?" "You just leave it to me, Mrs. Van Horn," soothed the police officer. "I'll just put it in my report that she died at the stroke of two."
Vote: has 26.97 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cop, death, old people
A: What does 70-year-old p***y taste like? A: Depends.
Vote: has 24.15 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, disgusting, old people
A plowhorse, a honeybee and an old geezer are debating about which of them is the greatest. 
The horse says, "I can plow all day long to provide food for dozens of people!" "
The bee says, "I pollinate all the plants every year and make honey besides!" 
 The old geezer says... (We're waiting...)
Vote: has 21.89 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, horse, old people
In the metro an old lady apostrophizes a nigger who was sitting calm in a seat: In my country, the ladies stay on the sits, and young boys like you stay in their feet! In my country, Africa, the boys stay in the middle of the fire, and the ladies stay in the kettles, boiling.
Vote: has 20.01 % from 89 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black people, old people, travel
Q: Why did the astronaut retire? A: He got spaced out!
Vote: has 19.11 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: old people, work


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