The best wedding jokes

At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. Immediately he began paying her court and flattering her outrageously. The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit aback by his fast and ardent pitch. She was amazed when after 30 minutes he seriously proposed marriage. "Look," she said. "We only met a half hour ago. How can you be so sure? We know nothing about each other." "You're wrong," the young man declared. "For the past 5 years I've been working in the bank where your father has his account."
Vote: has 70.70 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money, party, time, wedding
"I want a divorce"! "But you made a vow in the church that we remain together till death do us part." "I guess you are right. Very well, go ahead and drink up the tea I made for you."
Vote: has 68.80 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, church, death, divorce, wedding
Yo' Mama is so ghetto, her wedding cake was made of cornbread.
Vote: has 66.69 % from 125 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, wedding, Yo mama
Chuck Norris was the Best Man at his own wedding.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, wedding
I'm going to watch my wedding video later "backwards". I love the end bit when she takes the ring off, goes back down the aisle and jumps in the car.
Vote: has 63.22 % from 330 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, love, marriage, wedding
What did the rabbit bride get on her wedding day? A forty-carrot wedding ring.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, money, wedding
Where do rabbits go after their wedding? On their bunnymoon.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, travel, wedding
A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, “Mommy, why does the girl wear white?” His mom replies, “The bride is in white because she’s happy and this is the happiest day of her life.” The boy thinks about this, and then says, “Well then, why is the boy wearing black?”
Vote: has 62.39 % from 580 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, wedding
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 95%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
Vote: has 61.89 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, science, sex, wedding, women
A young man and a young woman were soon to be married, but they both had a problem they had never told anyone else about. The man approached his father one day before the wedding and told him about his problem. His feet REALLY stunk, even if he washed them constantly, he was worried that this would scare off his new bride, so he needed a solution, fast. His father pondered the situation and finally told his son to wear socks constantly (even to bed) and always wash his feet whenever he got a chance. The son thought about this and went along happy. The same day the young lady approached her mother and told her about her problem. Her morning breath was horrid. Her mother reassured her and told her everyone had bad morning breath. The young woman told her mother that this was not normal morning breath but easily the worst in the world. The mother thinks about this and comes up with this bright idea. She tells her daughter to get up earlier than everyone else and don't say a thing, go make breakfast and then brush her teeth while the others are eating. The young woman thinks and then runs off to get ready for the wedding, happy. The couple is married and they are happy, him with his perpetual socks and her with her morning silences. One morning about 5:30 am the young man wakes up to find one sock missing. He starts rustling around in the bed looking for it, which of course wakes up his wife, who without thinking asks what's wrong. With a look of shock on his face the young man says, "OH MY GOD! You've swallowed my sock!"
Vote: has 56.65 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, food, marriage, wedding, wife