The best wedding jokes

What did the rabbit bride get on her wedding day? A forty-carrot wedding ring.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, money, wedding
Chuck Norris was the Best Man at his own wedding.
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, wedding
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 95%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
Vote: has 66.38 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, science, sex, wedding, women
Tow millipedes went for honey moon. The male one asked: "My darling, between which feet is your pussy, please?"
Vote: has 65.00 % from 80 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, dirty, love, sex, wedding
I'm going to watch my wedding video later "backwards". I love the end bit when she takes the ring off, goes back down the aisle and jumps in the car.
Vote: has 63.65 % from 334 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, love, marriage, wedding
Where do rabbits go after their wedding? On their bunnymoon.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, travel, wedding
A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, “Mommy, why does the girl wear white?” His mom replies, “The bride is in white because she’s happy and this is the happiest day of her life.” The boy thinks about this, and then says, “Well then, why is the boy wearing black?”
Vote: has 62.24 % from 586 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: marriage, wedding
A young man and a young woman were soon to be married, but they both had a problem they had never told anyone else about. The man approached his father one day before the wedding and told him about his problem. His feet REALLY stunk, even if he washed them constantly, he was worried that this would scare off his new bride, so he needed a solution, fast. His father pondered the situation and finally told his son to wear socks constantly (even to bed) and always wash his feet whenever he got a chance. The son thought about this and went along happy. The same day the young lady approached her mother and told her about her problem. Her morning breath was horrid. Her mother reassured her and told her everyone had bad morning breath. The young woman told her mother that this was not normal morning breath but easily the worst in the world. The mother thinks about this and comes up with this bright idea. She tells her daughter to get up earlier than everyone else and don't say a thing, go make breakfast and then brush her teeth while the others are eating. The young woman thinks and then runs off to get ready for the wedding, happy. The couple is married and they are happy, him with his perpetual socks and her with her morning silences. One morning about 5:30 am the young man wakes up to find one sock missing. He starts rustling around in the bed looking for it, which of course wakes up his wife, who without thinking asks what's wrong. With a look of shock on his face the young man says, "OH MY GOD! You've swallowed my sock!"
Vote: has 60.69 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, food, marriage, wedding, wife
Q: What are the three rings of marriage? A: The engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffering.
Vote: has 59.20 % from 48 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: marriage, wedding
As is tradition in Italian families, Marol spends her wedding night in her family home. Her mother sleeps in the adjacent room in case Marol has any questions. Mama tells Marol, "You have any a problem, you come and see Mama." Later, Marol's husband unbuttons his shirt, and Marol jumps up, runs next door and cries, "Mama, Mama! He has hair all over his chest!" Mama reassures Marol, "Men have hair on the chest. This is sign of a good man. Go now and make him happy." But when Marol's husband takes off his belt, she goes jumps up again, runs next door and cries, "Mama, Mama! He has a protrusion in his pants!" Mama reassures her, "He finds you beautiful. This is sign of a good man. Go now and make him happy." Finally, Marol's husband takes off his shoes. Due to a terrible childhood accident, he only has half of his right foot. Marol jumps up and runs back to her mother's room, shouting, "Mama, Mama! He has a foot and a half!" Her mother gets up and announces, "Stand back, Marol this is a job for Mama!"
Vote: has 58.05 % from 137 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: family, marriage, sex, wedding


<<<456
More jokes →
Page 4 of 6.