The best wedding jokes

Yo' Mama is so ghetto, her wedding cake was made of cornbread.
Vote: has 66.52 % from 131 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, wedding, Yo mama
What did the rabbit bride get on her wedding day? A forty-carrot wedding ring.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, money, wedding
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 95%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
Vote: has 64.72 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, science, sex, wedding, women
I'm going to watch my wedding video later "backwards". I love the end bit when she takes the ring off, goes back down the aisle and jumps in the car.
Vote: has 63.44 % from 332 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, love, marriage, wedding
Where do rabbits go after their wedding? On their bunnymoon.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, travel, wedding
A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, “Mommy, why does the girl wear white?” His mom replies, “The bride is in white because she’s happy and this is the happiest day of her life.” The boy thinks about this, and then says, “Well then, why is the boy wearing black?”
Vote: has 62.23 % from 583 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, wedding
A young man and a young woman were soon to be married, but they both had a problem they had never told anyone else about. The man approached his father one day before the wedding and told him about his problem. His feet REALLY stunk, even if he washed them constantly, he was worried that this would scare off his new bride, so he needed a solution, fast. His father pondered the situation and finally told his son to wear socks constantly (even to bed) and always wash his feet whenever he got a chance. The son thought about this and went along happy. The same day the young lady approached her mother and told her about her problem. Her morning breath was horrid. Her mother reassured her and told her everyone had bad morning breath. The young woman told her mother that this was not normal morning breath but easily the worst in the world. The mother thinks about this and comes up with this bright idea. She tells her daughter to get up earlier than everyone else and don't say a thing, go make breakfast and then brush her teeth while the others are eating. The young woman thinks and then runs off to get ready for the wedding, happy. The couple is married and they are happy, him with his perpetual socks and her with her morning silences. One morning about 5:30 am the young man wakes up to find one sock missing. He starts rustling around in the bed looking for it, which of course wakes up his wife, who without thinking asks what's wrong. With a look of shock on his face the young man says, "OH MY GOD! You've swallowed my sock!"
Vote: has 59.75 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, food, marriage, wedding, wife
As is tradition in Italian families, Marol spends her wedding night in her family home. Her mother sleeps in the adjacent room in case Marol has any questions. Mama tells Marol, "You have any a problem, you come and see Mama." Later, Marol's husband unbuttons his shirt, and Marol jumps up, runs next door and cries, "Mama, Mama! He has hair all over his chest!" Mama reassures Marol, "Men have hair on the chest. This is sign of a good man. Go now and make him happy." But when Marol's husband takes off his belt, she goes jumps up again, runs next door and cries, "Mama, Mama! He has a protrusion in his pants!" Mama reassures her, "He finds you beautiful. This is sign of a good man. Go now and make him happy." Finally, Marol's husband takes off his shoes. Due to a terrible childhood accident, he only has half of his right foot. Marol jumps up and runs back to her mother's room, shouting, "Mama, Mama! He has a foot and a half!" Her mother gets up and announces, "Stand back, Marol this is a job for Mama!"
Vote: has 57.17 % from 134 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: family, marriage, sex, wedding
Q: What are the three rings of marriage? A: The engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffering.
Vote: has 56.50 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, wedding
Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence–a life sentence. Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind. Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes. Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "rings": * The Engagement Ring * The Wedding Ring * The Suffe-Ring * The Endu-Ring
Vote: has 55.88 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, love, marriage, wedding